Sunday, March 14, 2010

Hot Tub Trauma

I simply have to share this with y'all.

Last night I was on the phone with myBarb.  She was in her hot tub and was taking great pleasure in pointing out the fact that SHE was in a hot tub and I was decidedly NOT in a hot tub.  Lucky for me, karma is alive and well and nailed her right between the eyes.

We were chatting away happily when suddenly she starts completely freaking out.  Screaming and going bananas.  B-A-N-A-N-A-S.  There are two raccoons in a tree about 20 feet away from her and they are staring at her.  "What should I do?  WHAT SHOULD I DO???" she screams in my ear.  I, of course, am laughing so hard that I literally can't respond.  "Stop laughing at me!!!  What should I do?!!!" she howls.  Now, you need to understand.  The racoons are 20 feet from her.  The sliding glass doors to her house are about 5 feet from the hot tub.  I can't stop laughing.  She's making them out to be blood thirsty demons with fangs when they are, in reality, 2 very cute racoons who are very likely rendered immobile out of fear from her screams.

Once the ruckus died down and she was safely ensconced in her home, she asked me where I thought they would go.  I told her that they likely had a lovely nest built somewhere very nearby to which she replied 'Fuck off!'.  Being the good friend that I am, I thought I should research this a bit for her.  Her's what I came up with;

"Raccoons tend to be solitary. In populated areas, raccoons often choose to make homes in chimney flues and attics. They seem to be the perennial, nightly raider of the suburban garbage can. Mating season for the raccoon is at its peak in February and March."

From this information I can assume the following.
  • The nest they are building is likely in her attic
  • It's March, so these creatures that are usually solitary must be mating since there was a pair of them
  • Soon Barb will have a wee family of them living in her attic
Now, to her credit, Barb has come a long way.  When she first moved from Calgary to Blind Bay, simply seeing a moth in the house evoked this exact reaction in her.  No I'm not kidding.  Not exaggerating even slightly.  Give her another 5 or 6 years and I have no doubt she'll be an intrepid mountain woman, killing cougars with her bare hands. 

Barb, you are a never-ending source of entertainment for me.  Love you!!!
(In the midst of her screams last night, the one sentence that I did manage to get out while laughing was "I am SO gonna blog this!!!)

Monday, March 8, 2010

Re-set

So.
The past 2 weeks have been pretty rough.  I was already feeling burned out in general... then was hit with a bit of a doozy.  I was kind of hanging by a thread and was really, really, really looking forward to a conference in Vancouver paired with a bit of vacation.  Originally I planned to go solo, but at the last minute it worked out that my Brats came with me.  Here are some of the highlights thus far:
  • Jack and Gigi on their first flight; so cute.
  • A visit with my friend Randy in Kelowna
  • Time with my Beloved Aunt and Uncle, Emil and Sheila
  • West Vancouver; 'nuff said
  • A walk on the beach with my Brats
  • A Conference that is turning out to be excellent
Now, I know that money can't buy happiness, it really can't and I KNOW that, but.  Yeah, but.  When I arrived to check in at the hotel where my conference is being held, I was asked if I wanted to upgrade my room.  An extra $30/night that includes internet (a $15 cost/day regardless), breakfast, evening appetizers in the Concierge Lounge and a view of the harbour.  Did I hesitate?  Even for a moment?  No way in hell.  "Yes, please" is what I said, as fast as I could. 

I went up to my room and almost started to cry.  A King-sized bed, and a curved wall of windows overlooking the harbour, the entire length of the room. (See photo above!)  I quickly changed into walking clothes and found out where the nearest liquor store was in order to secure a bottle of port.  Last night I sat cross-legged on my king-sized bed with a glass of port in my hand, watching the lights of the ships in the harbour.  I was grateful; I did not take this moment for granted for even a second.

Special room: $90 extra for 3 nights
Lovely port: $29.00
Feeling like my 're-set' button has been pressed?  Priceless

When they learned that I wouldn't be coming to Vancouver alone, Emil and Sheila agreed without hesitation to take the Darling Brats for me while at the conference.  Emil and Sheila have plenty of their own shit to deal with right now, but in spite of that (and SUPER-in-spite-of-that, Sheila is a grade 4 teacher and was no doubt looking forward to a peaceful Spring Break...) they graciously welcomed us into their home and even appeared genuinely excited to have my children full-on for 3 nights while I basked in Marriott-like bliss.  This is family. This is love.

I write this as I sip a glass of Merlot in the Concierge Lounge; the sun is setting and the lights of West Vancouver are beautiful just across the harbour.  (I can hear Emil at this point saying "Ok, ok.... now you're just rubbing it in!") I went for a long walk along the seawall on my lunch hour and did the same this evening after my last session.  I can't help but wonder if it's the "re-set button" effect that has me taking care of myself or the fact that I've pampered myself a bit and feel worthy of it.  I pondered this for quite some time during my walks today.

I feel ready to take on the world again.  Before I left for Vancouver when I was at an especially low and fragile (and quasi chin-quivering) point, my friend whose name rhymes with 'Barb Vincent' gave me a virtual smack upside the head and said to me "Smarten up!!!  You're stronger than this!"

Turns out she was right.