Refuge

There are certain places in the world where you just feel happy. A place where everything is right and warm and fuzzy. I'm very lucky to have a few places that feel like that; today I spent the afternoon at one of them, with Paul and Linda at their acreage. I've known Linda for 16 years. She is my husband's step-mother's niece. Yeah. A shirt tail relative who feels more related to me than many of my 'real' relatives. (No offense intended, 'real' relatives :-)).

Since I met Lin, I have been 'Aunty' to her daughters, Sheena and Ebony, and she has been an incredible presence in my life whenever I've needed her. She's married to Paul who brought two sons into the mix, Tam and Mitch, and at one point they had 4 teenagers living with them, not to mention the barage of teenage friends who, to this day, enjoy the household hospitality as much as I do. In fact, when I arrived today, Sheena's friend from "back in the day" was in town and popped by for a visit. He and Lin were sitting out on the back veranda having a chat and he was laughing at the loving insults that Linda was hammering him with. It's her crazy way of showing love (have I ever had a conversation with her that didn't start with "Hi Skank"?) and everyone loves her for it.

Linda is a talented hair dresser and saves me from myself in that department. She did my hair on my wedding day, and also spent the months leading up to that day making and freezing cabbage rolls and perogies so that we could have a homemade dinner at the reception. Cabbage rolls and perogies. Labour intensive food. For 125 people. Who does that??

No matter how often I need to be at their home, for whatever reason, Paul welcomes me with open arms. Even better than that, he usually has a glass of single malt scotch on ice for me. (Balvenie!) Today he asked me how I was doing. I told him I was ridiculously cranky so he quietly poured me a Sambucca on ice. I love Paul. We discuss politics (a lot) and I value his opinion. I like to think he values mine too.

Paul and Linda have raised four incredible kids into thriving, adventurous adults. Sheena is in Australia raising two lovely little monsters and is an absolutely beautiful mother. I see Linda's influence when I watch Sheena parenting Dex and Kodi with a mixture of discipline, intense love, affection, and humour. Ebony is a firefighter, social worker (top of her class and about to take her Masters) and placed 4th in the world as a power lifter (please allow me to brag, Eb!). I see Linda's influence when I watch Eb's determination and compassion. Mitch and Tam are both about to embark on international adventures and I feel Paul's infuence when his son's greet me warmly and hug me even though they rarely see me. Paul and Linda are 'Aunty Lin and Uncle Paul' to my children and my kids feel warm and fuzzy when we go there too.

Paul and Lin love each other like crazy. They are openly affectionate and respectful with each other and they laugh together often. They have worked their asses off to be this happy and I go to them for advice for my own life knowing that they will always be honest, compassionate and most important of all, they will call me on my shit. I love them for that.

Today Linda cut Jack's hair, poured me a pink lady and let me raid the basil in their garden so that I could make a batch of pesto in her kitchen. While we were there, Sheena called from Oz and gave Bridget hair advice over the phone. Paulie puttered in his beloved gardens and all was right in the universe. It was a perfect sunday afternoon spent with two of my favourite people in the world. Thank you so much, Paul and Linda -- for everything.

(Linda, don't you dare complain about me being too
sweet to you in this blog post, you freakin' skank.)
xoxox

What's Up Doc?

Three months ago, I took a trip to 'the city' with my son, Jack. While there, we decided to make a stop at the pet store to visit the critters -- not to purchase a critter, mind you -- just to look at them. As we rounded the corner to the pet store, I noticed a patch of grass where a young couple had parked with their dog and her 12 puppies. Before I could think, I gasped and pointed them out to Jack. Of course, Jack begged me to stop. Not to purchase one, mind you.... oh, no. Just to pet one. Jack loves animals... when we had pigs, he named all of them and even rode them when they were big enough. He is a cat whisperer (I swear to God) and just seems to have a way with all creatures great and small.

Last October, we had to have our 13 year old Rottie-girl put down. Her name was 'Mandy' and she was the sweetest, most gentle dog I've ever met. She was enormous and, well.... a Rottweiler, but even our vet said that she was one of the most submissive dogs he's ever met. Our kids grew up with her.... Bridget learned to pull herself up from crawling to standing by grabbing great handfuls of Mandy-skin in her hands. Having her put down was the hardest decision I have ever made, bar none. In hindsight, we left it far too long. She was ready to go long before we were ready to let her go and I honestly wasn't prepared for just how painful it would be to say goodbye. I swore that I would not put myself through that ever again.....

Back to Jack and the puppies and 'the city'. As we approached them, I could clearly see that these fat little sausages had rottweiler blood in them. Jack snuggled them and loved them and smelled them and played with them and fell in love with a little boy-dog. I told him over and over that we were not getting a dog until a lovely little girl-dog wiggled her way into my heart. After calling my husband (Pleeaaassseee!!! You won't have to do ANYTHING) and getting the 'go ahead', I jumped in the car with Jack, raced to the bank to get the required amount of cash and raced back. The little girl I fell in love with was gone. The little boy who Jack fell in love with was still there. I did NOT want a boy dog and firmly believed that the little girl-dog being gone was a clear sign from the universe that I am not supposed to have another dog. However, when Jack looked up at me (with his very own puppy dog eyes) and said "But Mom, he chose me", I was a goner. I'm not sure who was more shocked at my 'Yes', Jack or me, but indeed, I did say 'Yes' and off we went with our new little sausage-boy-dog.

We named him 'Doc' because we all love the movie Tombstone and we especially love Val Kilmer's portrayal of Doc Holliday in it. It was also the ONLY name we could all agree on. Everywhere we go, people think we're yelling "Dog!! Dog!" when we call him, but somehow 'Doc' really does suit him and he often channels the mischievious, trouble-making spirit of Doc Holliday. He still has 'accidents' and it makes me crazy. We ('we' meaning my husband who wasn't going to have to do ANYTHING) built him a pen which he regularily digs out of. We live on a highway so this is a bit of a dicey situation. I have had moments of 'What the fuck was I thinking???" but overall, I have fallen in love with this little guy. As I type this, he is sleeping in my favourite wing-backed chair, snoring. Who knew? And... when I watch Jack on the ground with him, wrestling and laughing his head off, telling me that Doc is his best friend, I don't mind so much that I've had to rip out my carpet.

I wanted laminate anyway.

But Why Is The Tequila Gone?

And it really is. A perfectly lovely bottle of tequila, consumed and empty.

I went camping this weekend with my husband, 3 kids, 1 dog, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, their 2 kids, 2 dogs and new kitten. I kid you not. Is the empty bottle of tequila making more sense now?

Now, my husband likes to camp, however his idea of camping involves a tiny lake on the tippy, tippy top of a very big mountain. With no other humans for at least 100 kilometers. As you can imagine, this also means no bathrooms. And flies. Big, evil horse flies. With teeth. And weapons. When we were dating, I went to these places with my hubby. I smiled. I tried to be an outdoor girl.... ok -- that's a lie. I tried to pretend that I was an outdoor girl. I wasn't, nor am I today. (Sorry, hubby.... I'm sure it's grounds for an anullment, at least.) It's taken me many years to not feel inadequate as a human being for not liking the great outdoors. The tequila helps.

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law own a MONSTER motor home. It has carpet and a microwave. I love them. And their motor home. Earlier this year, we all went camping to a lovely place with nothing but trees and sand. It was beautiful, but very, very far from civilization -- NO people. This time, however, we went 20 minutes from home to a fantastic campground, but there were people there. People -- the horror!!!! I arrived ahead of my husband and knew that he was already on edge about the possibility of people being there, however it was my turn to pick the camping location, and this was it. The campground was almost empty.... perhaps only 10 other campsites being used in the entire area. This campground did have people; however it also had very clean bathrooms.... with flush toilets and (be still my heart...) showers!!! I saw a woman in there with a blow dryer. Is it so wrong to want nature AND a blow dryer? I ask you???

We only stayed one night, but it was wonderful. I arrived Saturday afternoon with my kids and dog, and the flowing of the margaritas commenced soon after. I had a very comfy lawn chair, an amazing view of the lake, sunshine, laughing children and margaritas. Does life get much better than this? My wonderful in-laws and I discussed Eckhart Tolle and the secret of making the most out of this life and laughed and relaxed and when my husband arrived, he gritted his teeth (because of all the people!!!), had a margarita with us and relaxation ensued, even for him, poor soul.

That night, there were at least a zillion visible stars in the sky and I just bundled up and leaned back in my comfy lawn chair and watched them. It was one of the most peaceful moments I've had in ages and I was truly just in the moment. That's rare for me.... and, yes. There was a margarita involved. The next day I went for a walk along the beach with my 12 year old son and listened to him tell me all about skipping rocks and frogs and why he really doesn't need shoes. We came across a blue heron and he was thrilled. Again, totally in the moment. (I managed this sans margarita... what a good mommy I am!).

That night I snuggled into the very luxurious motor home to sleep. Yes, a cat did pounce on my head during the night, and yes, I did have to get up in the middle of the night to powder my nose (penance for the excessive margarita-ness) but I did get to experience all the beauty that camping has to offer along with the conveniences of home.

So now it's 12:38 a.m. and I'm on my very comfortable couch with my very new and shiny laptop, grateful for the relaxing weekend, but also grateful to be warm, dry and ready for work tomorrow.

Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine....