Fun du la Fun a la Fun

In spite of my Scrooge-ish-ness, I had a lot of fun this Christmas and it was uber relaxing. Yay! Who knew it could be this way?! My brothers both arrived a few days before Christmas and since they are both teachers, they were really, really, really (did I mention 'really'?) ready for the break. If you don't think that teachers deserve the time off that they receive, then my guess is that you don't know many teachers. They earn it. They need it. But, I digress.

Brother Glen brought his gorgeous, talented, funny, smart daughter Raelee with him and his feisty, cute, funky, delightful daughter Morgan stayed home with her Mamma. Bridget was in 'girl heaven' having Rae around and Raelee doted on my Gigi like the sweet big cousin that she is. (Bridget is to the left with her two favourite things in the world: Raelee and a telephone.)

Brother Dare arrived with his dog, Eclipse and there was plenty of barking, drool and general "dog happiness" between 'Clipse and Doc. We feasted and drank and feasted and drank and pretty much left the children to their own devices during the days leading up to Christmas. It was just such a treat to relax and enjoy each other's company. On Christmas Eve we were visited by 2 sexy, tipsy elves. The menfolk were pleased with this turn of events and the elves woke Jack up on the couch. I'm pretty sure Jack still thinks he was dreaming!

Christmas morning was pretty wonderful. The kids tore into their gifts and were pleased with all that Santa brought. Connor was horrified at having to wake up at 8:30 (but was pacified after unwrapping the video game that he wanted - see photo to the left!); Jack was horrified at having to wait until 8:30 to wake us all up, especially since he'd been awake since 3:00 a.m. (No, that is not a typo). The rest of the day was spent with more laughing, eating and relaxation. Seeso arrived in the early afternoon with her husband, Corey, daughter Dani and son, Aydan. I was so, so, SO happy to see her. Chick time with my Seeso was the icing on my Christmas cake.

Dinner was set for 15 people and Karen and I had a lot of fun cooking it AND eating it with our guests. Little Dougie Robinson (a.k.a. LDR) and my dear friend Shori (with her lovely beau, Tuscon) arrived just in time to eat. Shori chose to bring a bottle of Balvenie instead of contributing to the meal. (I luvs ya, Shori!) Friends, family, children, laughter, scotch. *sigh* Happy.

However, we all know that a gathering at Suzeville wouldn't be complete without.... DANCING! Oh, and did we dance. We moved the kitchen table aside to create a dance floor, turned up the music and off we went. I had the absolute pleasure of dancing the two-step with my brother Glen (Thanks, Glennie! Love you to bits....) as well as performing a very classy interpretive dance to Perez Hilton's 'The Clap'. I am grateful beyond words for the lack of available video equipment while that was happening, let me tell you.

To the right, there are two pictures of my friends and loved ones. In the top picture, Seeso, Dani, Ted and Jesper are shakin' their collective thang. In the bottom picture, they are demonstrating their ferocious model poses and I have to say that Ted wins the prize for that category. God knows he gets enough practice..... perhaps? (But Ted!!! Where are your pantalonies??)

This was an AMAZING Christmas. Traditional? Not so much.

Does it need to be? I think not.

Friends, family, food, laughter.

Sounds like the start to a pretty good tradition to me.

Happy New Year!

Ho Ho Ho....

Now, I like Christmas. Christmas Day, that is.

I love lighting the fireplace and watching the kids tear into their gifts.... I REALLY love cooking the turkey and smelling it throughout the house all day long. I love a house full of family and friends, combined with plenty of laughter and relaxation.

I'm not crazy about the commercial bombardment that happens beforehand. I don't like Christmas music. (Bah, humbug.) I don't like the stress that accompanies family obligation or being nervous about spending a ton of money in a small space of time.

This year, my beloved sibs are coming for the holidays. I can't believe that I have a chance to see them again so soon after the BSW 2.0. (If you don't know what BSW 2.0 means, check back in the archives of my blog!) This means that there will be EXTRA laughter on Christmas Day which always makes me happy. Speaking of laughter, my friend sent me a great email about how Santa really wants to respond to the letters he receives from children. You know me by now. You know that if I'm laughing, it is likely inappropriate or politically incorrect, or both. This email is certainly 'both' and I just have to share it with y'all. Brace yourselves.

If Santa Answered His Mail Honestly.....

Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy
all yeer.
Yer Friend, Billy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.
Santa
(Editorial note: Me, screaming with laughter. '....banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.'?? I'll be using this in the future. I'm just sayin'.)

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa
(Editorial note: A coincidence that the one involving Scotch was sent by 'Susan'? I think not.)

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,
PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy
Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa

So, in spite of my semi-scroogish nature, I do wish everyone a wonderful Christmas. I hope it's filled with laughter and love. I really mean that. If you're in my neck of the woods, please drop by for a cup o' Christmas cheer (a.k.a. 'booze') along with an inappropriate laugh or two.

Gay Pelchat a.k.a. 'The Infamous Aunt Gay'

In one of my recent posts, I talked about my Aunt Gay and I mentioned that I would post a future blog post about her. Well, here it is, as promised. You won't be disappointed. Anyone who knows me well has heard of "Aunty Gay". In the Pelchat Clan (my mother's side), she is a legend.

Aunty Gay is my Mom's sister. There were 11 kids in their family and all of them are/were amazing, fun-loving, smart, spirited people. There were 6 girls and 5 boys and they grew up during the depression on a farm in Saskatchewan. I remember being very small and watching with wide eyes while my Mom and her 5 sisters sat in the livingroom, laughing, talking and drinking wine. (There was always wine.... the French blood made wine an essential part of any gathering!) There was never a shortage of fun when the sisters gathered and I remember my Father staying clear of the livingroom when they visited. I think they scared him a little. To this day, whenever Pelchat women gather (and there are many of us), wine, hugs and laughter are essential. Aunt Gay has been instrumental in demanding that this tradition continue.

Aunty Gay was a feminist before the phrase was coined. She has told me that growing up on the farm made is so that gender was irrelevant to a certain degree. If work needed to be done, you simply did it. My Grandfather helped to bake bread. My Grandmother helped in the fields. During her life, I don't think that it ever occured to Aunty Gay that there was anything she couldn't do. What an empowering gift to give your daughter, especially during those times. Aunt Gay was a teacher for many years before she chose an administrative career with the school system. I always viewed her as being so very strong and capable and she was an amazing role model for me while I was growing up. I have no doubt that a large part of my rather feisty nature is because I had her to look up to in life.

I have learned SO much from Aunty Gay. I remember talking to her about 'recycling' over 20 years ago, feeling very smug and clever about the topic. She said, "Recycling? You think you invented recycling? Your generation invented garbage, not recycling." She then went on to tell me about how her Mom would sew underwear for her children out of used flour bags. If the bedsheets were wearing too thin in the center, they were cut down the middle, and then flipped and sown up again so that the thin part was now on the outside. Paper was burned. When clothing wore out beyond use, rugs were made out of the rags. They composted, gardened, and canned. Aunt Gay is still incredibly resourceful and practical.... I learn something new everytime I'm with her.

Almost every fabulous book I've read and every amazing new drink I've consumed ("Susan! Scotch and Ginger Beer with lemon!!!) was introduced to me by Aunt Gay. Aunt Gay turned 80 last May and people are stunned when I tell them how old she is. The picture above is of her at her 80th birthday celebration this past summer -- she's sitting with my brother Glen, also known as 'Aunty Gay's Favourite'. I'm just sayin'. The black and white is of Aunty Gay and my Mom. Aunty Gay is the one reading, my Mom is the kooky one with the pillow on her head. Am I a combination of these two women, or what???

I have no doubt that the reason my Aunty looks so young is a direct result of how active she is (she goes to the gym in the winter and golfs almost everyday in the summer), but I must admit that I secretly believe that it's because she never married :-))

Aunty Gay was my Mom's best friend as well as her sister. She was always there for her, no matter what Mom needed. Before Mom died, Aunty Gay was there on a regular basis to do exercises with her... to read to her and laugh with her. I would love my Aunty no matter what, but the closeness she shared with my Mom makes me love her ZILLA. When my siblings and I went to have a memorial tattoo done in honour of my Mom, Aunt Gay was right in there with us. She was 78 at the time and Charlie (our tattoo artist) declared her to be his most 'mature' client. When we walked into his shop, Charlie had a power metal station playing on his satellite radio. Aunt Gay looked at him, then calmly looked up at the speaker where the music was coming from. She looked at Charlie again and raised one eyebrow. Charlie quietly walked over and changed the station.


I absolutely adore my Aunt Gay. She is about 5'1", but her presence is formidible, make no mistake. She is the Matriarch of our clan and she is revered and loved by us all. Next time you pour a glass of wine, take a moment to quietly think of all of the amazing women who have influenced your life. I know I can't take a sip without thinking of my Aunty Gay and the amazing Pelchat women who influenced mine.

Happy Birthday to Us!!!

Connor and I just returned home from Kelowna and the "Nine Inch Nails" concert. Our birthdays are only 2 days apart so this year we decided to celebrate by enjoying something that we both love.

Screaming, loud music.

I can't believe that my firstborn is 15 years old. Ok... I have to say this. I know that I'm his Mommy and I HAVE to say it, but I'm going to anyway. He is such a nice guy. Oh, my God. He really, really is.

**If you don't want to listen to me brag about my boyo, you may want to skip the next two paragraphs. I'm just sayin'**

Connor was a completely mental toddler. At the age of 2, he rolled a pickup truck and managed to shut off the water main during Christmas Dinner. At 3, he had me in tears before 9:00 a.m. most mornings and redecorated my house with permanent felt marker. People would smile indulgently when I mentioned how busy he was.... and then they would witness it. Eyes would widen. Mouths would hang agape. After a demonstration, inevitably the question would be asked "How do you keep up with him??" At one point, I truly believed that if we could keep him out of prison, it would be a huge accomplishment and our best hope for him.

But apparently the all beatings and beration worked. Connor has turned into a very cool human being and not only do I love him to bitsies, I really, really like him. When he was blowing out his birthday candles this year, (ok, ok.... birthday candle. I forgot to buy candles so I just stuck a pillar candle in the middle of his cake.) I thought to myself "When he was born, if I could have written out a list of what I wished for in a 15 year old son, I couldn't have come up with this." (Happy Birthday Boyo.... I love you!)

Back to Nine Inch Nails. We both agreed that it was likely the best concert that either of us have ever attended and I'll tell ya why; Trent Reznor is an artist. (Trent Reznor is a HOT artist.... but I digress.) Usually at a concert like this, the lead singer spends a fair amount of time blabbing at the crowd, letting them know just how amazingly cool he is. Trent Reznor did no such thing. He simply was cool. On the drive home from the concert, Connor and I discussed feeling like we were witnessing art, not just a rock concert. It felt like Trent (yeah.... me and Trent? We're on a first name basis....) was truly an artist wanting to entertain us with his music and talent. What a concept. In fact, Trent Reznor believes in his art so much (as opposed to multi million dollar industries) that he has made his latest album, "Slip" available as a free download on the NIN website. Google it, bitches!

(A big thank you to my pal, "Dan the Dirtman" from Power 104 in Kelowna for the pro bono tix! Thanks, Dan.... best birthday present EVER!)