Love Letter (Part 2)

As I said in the previous post, a love letter can come in many forms. This is one that I received over 8 months ago but I've saved it and I read it often.

People who know me very, very well know that when I'm struggling, I withdraw. They don't receive phone calls from me. When they call, I don't answer. I avoid everyone as I curl up and lick my wounds. Another quirk that my inner circle is aware of is the fact that I'm a total cry baby during a chick flick or a long distance commercial, but when it comes to serious matters of the heart, I'm Margaret Thatcher.

When my marriage was at it's absolute worst and I was close to making the decision to leave, I had been avoiding My Barb because of both of the above reasons. This is the email that I received from her.

Ok my friend, what can we do to pull your life outta the terlit?
I can't believe you are avoiding me so you don't cry. I thought we talked and agreed crying is good. As you know I usually perceive things as all about me. So I was starting to think you just didn't want to talk to me.....

You can not avoid, avoid, avoid. It won't make anything better.... all it will do is cause you to be living in limbo, miserably living in limbo.

I can only imaging how tuff it is going to be to make the decision you need to make. But please don't make yourself sick by not moving forward. You are a strong, amazing woman who is a great mom and very intuitive in regards to her children's needs. They too will be fine. Please don't avoid me cause you're gonna cry.... just fucking cry dammit. That is what we do for each other. Don't be changing up the rules now.

I won't tell you how much I luv ya because I don't want to upset you.... know that I am here and when you are ready you know how to find me.

We will get through this together... one way or another.

I can't tell you the impact this letter had on me. When I read "We will get through this...." I knew that everything was going to be ok. Barb didn't say "YOU will get through this....", she said that 'we' will. I wasn't alone and I had people who would support me while I made the most difficult decision of my life.

This letter also helped me to be less of an ostrich during times of trouble. Why go through it alone when you have people like this in your life who want to support you? Sheesh.

Love Letter (Part 1)

There are many kinds of love letters that a person can receive. Tonight I opened my facebook inbox to find one from my daughter. I asked for her permission to put it on my blog because it warmed my cold little black heart in a way that I can hardly begin to describe. Here's what she wrote:


Mom,

When you write to me, it makes me feel so loved. Just the words you say make life so much more enjoyable. In your writing, you pass on emotion. I cannot wait to see you. When I say this, I speak for the family. You are the glue that keeps us together. For the 5 of us. Then the Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents, even for the people that aren't family. You keep family and friends together! Anyways, I just wanted to let you know how special you are.


It's incredible that she wrote this to me. Being the organizer/mother hen was the role I played in my family while I was growing up. In the past year as I made significant changes in my life, I withdrew from that role and my brother Darryl has let me know that my absence was palpable. This note from Gigi reminded me that while my 'hiatus' was necessary, it's time for me to get back in the game. I miss my sibs and we seem to be more cohesive when I'm doing my bossy-sister gig. I think they actually like it too.

(Picture of my two favourite women in the world; Gigi and my Beloved Seeso.)

I know, I know!!!!

Yes, it's been awhile since I've blogged. Thank you Barb, for reminding me. (Over and over and over again.) Barb hasn't been the only friend who has nudged me on this topic, just the most persistent one. When I logged in to the site, I wasn't sure if I remembered the password so I guess she may have a point. Please understand just how painful it is for me to actually admit to that.

My last post was on September 6th and so much has happened since then. I've been to PEI and to Vegas. I've attended a Pirate Party hosted by the amazing Don and Tamara. Snow has fallen and I'm now walking up and down my driveway; Shangri-la is definitely more appealing in the summer time, let me tell ya. I hosted a girl-party last weekend and we ate and danced and laughed which is always so good for the soul. (Yay girlfriends!)

And? I've started dating. Yup. Dating. What a bizarre world that is. I've met some really nice men and some not-so-nice men. It's a steep learning curve but such an adventure; I can honestly say that I've learned something from each of of these men and that can only be good, right? One has ended up becoming a good friend and my sounding board for dating (Hi Randy!). Another didn't like my fridge magnets (buh bye). I'm not in a hurry to find a partner and I really am content on my own.... but as Randy reminds me, we're not meant to be alone. I'm trying hard to be in the moment and to move forward with my new life and for the most part it feels pretty damn good I must admit.

Soooo.... I will post some pictures of the hinjinx from the past 3 months (Yes Barb, I did feel shame in writing that sentence. Mission accomplished.) and I will do my very best to be a bit more consistent with my posts. I really do appreciate that y'all enjoy my blog; thank you so much for that. I am truly grateful to have such amazing friends in my world. See you soon!

Crazy dancing women. 'Nuff said.

Downtown Charlottetown, fall day, mid-afternoon. Nirvana.