Ok, ok, ok! I couldn't wait.

Here is the Night Time/Day Time bit I was talking about in my previous post! (If you haven't read it yet, please do so now before watching the video.  Yeah, I'm serious.)

Ok, now that you've read my previous post, you can watch this.  Try to imagine me on an airplane looking out one window ("Night time!") then the other window ("Day time!!")

The video is literally 17 seconds long so just do it!  I promise you'll laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THrpJSstWZ8

(Two posts in ONE month and it's only November 3rd, Barb.... )

Yup. That's it....

I've always emphatically stated that my favourite colour is yellow.  For the most part it is but tonight I saw another colour that rivals it closely.  I don't have a specific name for this colour so I'll just call it "when-the-sun-sets-and-you're-above-the-clouds-watching-it" colour.  Yeahhhh.  Also known as 'orange'.  Please see the photo below as an illustration:

I guess there is actually some yellow-ish-ness in it, no?  And while this photo is lovely (thank you google photos), the actual sunset was much more beautiful.  Tonight, watching sun set above the clouds as I flew to Victoria was pretty amazing.  I was also able to look out one window and see night time and the other window and see day time (Night time.... day time.  Night time... daytime.  My friend Shori is laughing her ASS off right now reading this.  I'll add a link that will explain why this is so freakin' funny in my next post).

ANYhoo.... the concierge will be calling at 7am with my wake up call (.... "would you like another call again 10 minutes later, Ms. Barth.... just in case?"  "Why yes.  Yes I would, Mr. Concierge.") so I'd best get some sleep in my Delta-like bliss.

G'night all. :)

Thankful

I love Thanksgiving.  Love it.  Love it.  Love it.

I think you're getting the picture, no?  I'm not sure what it is.... perhaps the time of year and leaves changing colour.  Or maybe it's the fact that it's a holiday that involves food, family, friends, laughter and relaxation without the insanity and stress of things that often accompany certain holidays, say like Christmas. 

I'm always excited for this particular long weekend but Thanksgiving this year was one of the best I've had in a very long time.  The Brats were all with me at Shangri-la and my good friend Randy came from Kelowna to spend it with us.  We just hung out, played poker and a board game called 'Sequence', laughed and drank the wine and port that Randy brought.  (No, the kids didn't drink the boozes.  Sheesh; shame on y'all who thought that.)

I felt.... well, thankful.  Cheezy, I know but I really did.  I have much to be thankful for.  I live in a beautiful place and I have a great job with amazing colleagues.  I have the best damn friends anyone could ever have.  I was raised in a loving home with incredible siblings who I'm still very close to.  I have incredible kids who adore me for some unkown reason.  Is it perfect?  Not by a long shot but the shit stuff (trying to swear less, potty mouth that I am) I have to deal with is pretty minor when you look at the big picture.  Plus, I have great people in my life who help me wade through the stuff shit. (Sorry; I like swearing way too much).

So, Thanksgiving.  I think maybe I just really like having a day once a year when I have the luxury of taking a moment to remember all the things that are great about my life.  Plus, I really love stuffing. :)

(Randy and the 'Brats du la Brats a la Brats' eating Thanksgiving dinner)

Nemesis

Before I start telling you about my nemesis, I must apologize for missing September on my blog. My new lofty goal was to blog at least once a month.  I failed.  Already. *sigh*

Onwards.... to the little fucker I hate.  Anyone who lives where I live will know what I'm talking about.  My friends from afar won't have a clue.  I'm talking about the Western Conifer Seed Bug (Leptoglossus occidentalis) a.k.a. 'the stink bug' (thanks for the official name, Tammy O!).  I hate them.  H A T E.  As a rule, I don't hate.  I'm not a hater by nature.  Stink bugs?  I hate.

Looks harmless?  I'm sure it does.... but it's evil.  They dive bomb you.  They like hair.  If you try to catch them, they release a smell (something like rotten bananas).  I woke up in the middle of the night last week to one crawling up my back, underneath my shirt.  Insta-awake.  Jumping around the bedroom, crazy hair, wild eyes.  Turning the light on, trying to get it out from under my shirt only to suddenly smell THE SMELL.  A-a-a-r-r-r-g-g-g-h-h-h-h.  Yeah.  Try to get back to sleep after waking up to that at 3:00am.

Now y'all might be thinking I'm a wimp at this point, however there are a lot of them.  Jack capture some in a jar tonight; it took him about 20 minutes to catch them and he caught about 30 of them.  Inside the house.  Here's what I've come to understand this week....

(Jar O' Stink Bugs)

Stink Bugs turn Suze into

(New fridge Magnet courtesy of my dear friend Sue)

I actually caught myself looking forward to snow so that it would end the stink bug reign in my house.  I didn't think there was anything I hated more than snow....

* This blog dedicated to cute little Margie Simpson who thought Barb and I were joking about the existence of stink bugs.  Careful checking your mail in the next week, Mah... I have a jar with your name on it.  Mwah ha ha ha ha.

The Adventures of Horatio L. Cheeky

Horatio L. Cheeky

Readers, meet Horatio.  Horatio and I have had a love/hate relationship going ever since I moved into Shangri-La.  There are many squirrels that live in the woods near my home but Horatio?  Well, he's 'special'.  Horatio is an alpha male who thinks he owns at least 17 square miles surrounding my house.  For some reason he does not fear me. 

Each morning I sit out on the deck to enjoy the view of the lake and the mountains with my coffee.  I love the solitude.  Horatio views this as an overtly hostile maneuver on my part.  Usually he perches as close as he can on the tree nearest to where I'm sitting and chirps at me like a machine gun.  I give him my best withering 'Susan' stare to no avail.  Eventually, I jump towards him and yell and he reluctantly leaves.  The other day he upped the ante and climbed high in the tree and began throwing pine cones at me.  No, I'm not making this up.  He really did. 

So, here's where the story gets really good.  Every morning I open up both my front door and the patio door  to let the morning breeze flow through the house.  It's wonderful.  Last week the real estate agent called to say that she planned to show the house later that day and I wanted to do a quick vaccuum before leaving for work.  I opened the doors then went downstairs to get the vaccuum cleaner.  As I walked upstairs, vaccuum cleaner in hand, what do I see?  Horatio.  In the middle of my kitchen floor.  I glared.  He looked at me with a glance that said "Ah.... you're in my house, Bitch."  I put down the vaccuum cleaner and walked towards him.  Nothing.  He actually looked away from me as if he was bored. 

I knew that escorting Horatio out of the house was going to take a bit of time and I pondered the situation because I really didn't want to be late for work.  Would the prospective buyers prefer a perfectly clean floor or a house without a squirrel in it?  I decided that a squirrel-less house would likely be best.  So-o-o-o-o out came the broom (yes, the same broom that I used to chase Percy with last year) and Horatio and I went to war.  Fifteen minutes later he was out on the deck and the doors were closed up tightly.  

I even made it to work on time.

(When I told my friend Mike about my cheeky friend, he decided to name him Horatio.  The 'L' stands for Leonidas.  Of course it does.)

Oh, so pretty!!!

Did I mention that Sue-of-the-fabulous-cheese is also a graphic artist?  I asked her if she would spice my blog up a bit and she did.  Ta-da!!!  I wrestled with it on my own for about an hour and wasn't happy with the results so I asked her if she would take a peek at it.  Four minutes and 27 seconds later she had it finished and I love it. 

My favourite colour is yellow.  Sunshine makes me happy so that's the only explanation I have, really.  I love the yellow-ish-ness of it!!!  It's also kind of bubbly and exuberant.... like me, no? 

Mike asked her "Are you doing pro bono work again?!!".  I replied "Hey!  I don't let people bring me amazing cheese without a cost, you know.  Sheesh."

Such a diva, I am.

*Gasp*

Yes.
*Gasp*
That is the sound you will here if you are near any of my followers when they open my blog to see that I've actually posted.  I seem to go in spurts.... and once again, I forgot my login user name and password which is a CLEAR indicator that it's been w-a-y too long since I've posted.  Thank you for not giving up on me!  It's been  3 months since my last post (I had to put it in tiny letters because of the shame I feel) and once again, so much has happened during that time. 

Some of the Blind Bay Bitches came to visit me here at Shangri-La and it was fantastic.  MyBarb, Claudette, Aleia, Tamara and Sandy showed up with enough food to supply us until 2012, booze (of course) and pajamas.  It was so wonderful to have them here; they have all welcomed me with open arms into their world and it delighted me to reciprocate that hospitality.  It was a fabulous weekend of laughter and relaxation and I have no doubt it will become an annual event.

My Beloved Seeso organized the Second Annual Halcyon Hotsprings Girl Weekend and I met some great women from Nelson.  Is it possible to have too many girlfriends?  I think not.  Again... food, booze, pajamas and laughter.  So good for the soul. 

Are we seeing a theme here, people?  I do love my girlie-friends.  Ah do.  Another hint; Sue and Mike are here pampering me and I have blogged TWICE in the past 12 hours.  Pampering Suze = Blog Posts.  Uh huh.  Think about that next time you complain about my lack o' posts, haters!

Nirvana. No lie.

I've blogged about my friends, Mike and Sue before.  I met them through my brother Darryl and they've become good friends of mine as well.  I blogged about them when they came for a brief visit last year and this year they decided to come for a longer visit.  I'm in heaven.  Holy cats.

Mike and Sue are two of the most generous people I know.  They arrived with gifts for the kids.  Thoughtful gifts that really indicated that they knew my children and really understood them.  Valued them.  Celebrated them.  They brought me a book (yay books!) and..... cheese.  Cheese.  Cheese-zilla.  Not no-name cheddar.  Oh, no.  Cheese from Quebec.  From France.  From Spain.  Triple cream cheese.  Goat brie.  Blue cheese.  Now here's the interesting part; Sue doesn't eat cheese but she knows how to buy it and how to pair it properly with wine and port.  It's entirely possible that my two favourite things on this planet are cheese and books.  Did I mention how much I love Mike and Sue?

Yesterday I came home from work to Sue in my kitchen cooking a beef tenderloin with a pinot noir sauce.  Oh. My. God.  Mashed baby potatoes and a butter lettuce salad.  Mike has been painting; he's a talented artist and has been sharing his gift with Gigi.  The two of them are very funny together and have a great banter that has kept us all entertained.

Today?  Good music.  Good food.  Great company.  Relaxation.  Being around Mike and Sue reminds me that art and literature and music are a big part of who I am.  Their company feeds that part of me and it feels really, really good.

Below is a picture from their first night here; port and blue cheese.  Heaven.  I could get used to this.... Frippeneno, I could get used to this!!!

Sheesh

come·up·pance (kmpns)
n.
A punishment or retribution that one deserves

So I'm in Blind Bay for the weekend, visiting Barb.  We have a weekend of relaxation, movies, popcorn and general sloth-ish-ness planned.  We watch 'PS, I love you'.  Everyone I know who has seen this movie assured me that I would sob like a baby when I watched it.  I didn't.  Didn't even shed ONE tear.  Further evidence that I possess a cold little black heart. 

After the movie we decide to have a dip in Barb's new hot tub... the hot tub where I was entertained by Barb and her raccoons.  Lucky for me, there were no raccoons tonight.... there was, however... a noise.  A big noise.  Crashing in the forest.  The sound of something perhaps climbing a tree and breaking huge branches on it's way up.  Something that sounded easily as big as a bear. 

I screamed.  Barb laughed.  More crashing.  More screaming... more of Barb laughing.  I did what any sane person would do.  I stood up in the hot tub, shook my fist in the general direction of the forest-crashing and yelled "The power of Christ compels you!!!!"  At this point, Barb is howling... she can barely breathe, she is laughing so hard.  Ugly-face laughing.

Yeah.... I totally deserved that, didn't I?
Sheesh.

Hot Tub Trauma

I simply have to share this with y'all.

Last night I was on the phone with myBarb.  She was in her hot tub and was taking great pleasure in pointing out the fact that SHE was in a hot tub and I was decidedly NOT in a hot tub.  Lucky for me, karma is alive and well and nailed her right between the eyes.

We were chatting away happily when suddenly she starts completely freaking out.  Screaming and going bananas.  B-A-N-A-N-A-S.  There are two raccoons in a tree about 20 feet away from her and they are staring at her.  "What should I do?  WHAT SHOULD I DO???" she screams in my ear.  I, of course, am laughing so hard that I literally can't respond.  "Stop laughing at me!!!  What should I do?!!!" she howls.  Now, you need to understand.  The racoons are 20 feet from her.  The sliding glass doors to her house are about 5 feet from the hot tub.  I can't stop laughing.  She's making them out to be blood thirsty demons with fangs when they are, in reality, 2 very cute racoons who are very likely rendered immobile out of fear from her screams.

Once the ruckus died down and she was safely ensconced in her home, she asked me where I thought they would go.  I told her that they likely had a lovely nest built somewhere very nearby to which she replied 'Fuck off!'.  Being the good friend that I am, I thought I should research this a bit for her.  Her's what I came up with;

"Raccoons tend to be solitary. In populated areas, raccoons often choose to make homes in chimney flues and attics. They seem to be the perennial, nightly raider of the suburban garbage can. Mating season for the raccoon is at its peak in February and March."

From this information I can assume the following.

• The nest they are building is likely in her attic
• It's March, so these creatures that are usually solitary must be mating since there was a pair of them
• Soon Barb will have a wee family of them living in her attic

Now, to her credit, Barb has come a long way.  When she first moved from Calgary to Blind Bay, simply seeing a moth in the house evoked this exact reaction in her.  No I'm not kidding.  Not exaggerating even slightly.  Give her another 5 or 6 years and I have no doubt she'll be an intrepid mountain woman, killing cougars with her bare hands. 

Barb, you are a never-ending source of entertainment for me.  Love you!!!
(In the midst of her screams last night, the one sentence that I did manage to get out while laughing was "I am SO gonna blog this!!!)