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| Horatio L. Cheeky Readers, meet Horatio. Horatio and I have had a love/hate relationship going ever since I moved into Shangri-La. There are many squirrels that live in the woods near my home but Horatio? Well, he's 'special'. Horatio is an alpha male who thinks he owns at least 17 square miles surrounding my house. For some reason he does not fear me. Each morning I sit out on the deck to enjoy the view of the lake and the mountains with my coffee. I love the solitude. Horatio views this as an overtly hostile maneuver on my part. Usually he perches as close as he can on the tree nearest to where I'm sitting and chirps at me like a machine gun. I give him my best withering 'Susan' stare to no avail. Eventually, I jump towards him and yell and he reluctantly leaves. The other day he upped the ante and climbed high in the tree and began throwing pine cones at me. No, I'm not making this up. He really did. So, here's where the story gets really good. Every morning I open up both my front door and the patio door to let the morning breeze flow through the house. It's wonderful. Last week the real estate agent called to say that she planned to show the house later that day and I wanted to do a quick vaccuum before leaving for work. I opened the doors then went downstairs to get the vaccuum cleaner. As I walked upstairs, vaccuum cleaner in hand, what do I see? Horatio. In the middle of my kitchen floor. I glared. He looked at me with a glance that said "Ah.... you're in my house, Bitch." I put down the vaccuum cleaner and walked towards him. Nothing. He actually looked away from me as if he was bored. I knew that escorting Horatio out of the house was going to take a bit of time and I pondered the situation because I really didn't want to be late for work. Would the prospective buyers prefer a perfectly clean floor or a house without a squirrel in it? I decided that a squirrel-less house would likely be best. So-o-o-o-o out came the broom (yes, the same broom that I used to chase Percy with last year) and Horatio and I went to war. Fifteen minutes later he was out on the deck and the doors were closed up tightly. I even made it to work on time. (When I told my friend Mike about my cheeky friend, he decided to name him Horatio. The 'L' stands for Leonidas. Of course it does.) |
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Adventures of Horatio L. Cheeky
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2 comments:
I think you ought to fight back, say with a slingshot and marshmellows. I doubt it would hurt to be hit by a marshmellow and just think how satisfying it would be!
Dear Suze,
I need to tell you that this is frickin hilarious. I've been feeling a little homesick, mom-sick, whatever sick. Maybe it is the lack of going back to our hometown this summer or the start of a new school year but its got me a little nostalgic. So as you may or may not know, when I get this way, I too tend to avoid or ostrich (lol), but I also start to get it together and I creep your Facebook page, check in with how things are going for another amazing mother of 3, and start to feel better. Then I have to check the blog, I read way back and all the way to the latest blogs. You see to me it doesn't matter if you blog twice a week or twice a year, so long as there is something to read when I get there. You have a way of making me feel at home, and comforted. It must be in the way that my mom loved you and your laughter and the way that you are also a mom of three juggling everything and still maintaining your irresistableness. YOu are devine and I love you for that!! And just one more note, I love wine so there seems only one reasonable thing to do the next time I am in town. I don't know when that will be but come hell or high-water I am going to share a bottle with you and remember where my roots are. Keep on shining and I'll see you soon.
Katie
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