Hot Tub Trauma

I simply have to share this with y'all.

Last night I was on the phone with myBarb.  She was in her hot tub and was taking great pleasure in pointing out the fact that SHE was in a hot tub and I was decidedly NOT in a hot tub.  Lucky for me, karma is alive and well and nailed her right between the eyes.

We were chatting away happily when suddenly she starts completely freaking out.  Screaming and going bananas.  B-A-N-A-N-A-S.  There are two raccoons in a tree about 20 feet away from her and they are staring at her.  "What should I do?  WHAT SHOULD I DO???" she screams in my ear.  I, of course, am laughing so hard that I literally can't respond.  "Stop laughing at me!!!  What should I do?!!!" she howls.  Now, you need to understand.  The racoons are 20 feet from her.  The sliding glass doors to her house are about 5 feet from the hot tub.  I can't stop laughing.  She's making them out to be blood thirsty demons with fangs when they are, in reality, 2 very cute racoons who are very likely rendered immobile out of fear from her screams.

Once the ruckus died down and she was safely ensconced in her home, she asked me where I thought they would go.  I told her that they likely had a lovely nest built somewhere very nearby to which she replied 'Fuck off!'.  Being the good friend that I am, I thought I should research this a bit for her.  Her's what I came up with;

"Raccoons tend to be solitary. In populated areas, raccoons often choose to make homes in chimney flues and attics. They seem to be the perennial, nightly raider of the suburban garbage can. Mating season for the raccoon is at its peak in February and March."

From this information I can assume the following.

• The nest they are building is likely in her attic
• It's March, so these creatures that are usually solitary must be mating since there was a pair of them
• Soon Barb will have a wee family of them living in her attic

Now, to her credit, Barb has come a long way.  When she first moved from Calgary to Blind Bay, simply seeing a moth in the house evoked this exact reaction in her.  No I'm not kidding.  Not exaggerating even slightly.  Give her another 5 or 6 years and I have no doubt she'll be an intrepid mountain woman, killing cougars with her bare hands. 

Barb, you are a never-ending source of entertainment for me.  Love you!!!
(In the midst of her screams last night, the one sentence that I did manage to get out while laughing was "I am SO gonna blog this!!!)