Addiction: "Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioural control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one's behaviours and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response."
I am not a hater. I don't hate. Not people, not things, usually not even ideas as a rule. I may dislike them but 'hate' isn't my thing.
That being said, I hate addiction. I hate it.
Hate: "Intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger or a sense of injury."
You know what I hate even more than addiction? I hate the horrible things that happen to hurt people. I hate that these horrible things cause beautiful people so much pain that they will do anything to escape that pain. It breaks my fucking heart.
I hate feeling helpless. I hate that there is not a single thing I can do to help people who I care about with that pain. I hate being the misdirected target of their anguish, an ambush that was never intended for me.
I'm not an addict so I don't understand; but just because I don't suffer from addiction, it doesn't mean that I'm not impacted by it's carnage. I am. I have been, more than once. My children have been as well and I hate that too. Hate with a capital H.
My intention was to go into 2016 with a happy and peaceful heart and at some point soon I hope that happens. But right now I'm broken from the loss of a technicolour world that has been reduced to black and white.
Because of addiction.
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