I love this show. I love Carrie Bradshaw. I LOVE Big. I love shoes. I have never been to New York but I love New York. I love my girlfriends. And you know what? After being a cynic for most of my adult life, I think that I'm actually starting to love the idea of love. Romantic love.
My favourite episode of SATC is when Carrie goes to Paris (I originally said 'Russia' but a kind reader corrected me to remind me that it was actually Paris... thank you, kind anonymous reader!) to be with Aleksandr Petrovsky. (*sigh* My biggest high school crush EVER was on Mikhail Barynshykov. Seriously. I digress.) I have two favourite scenes from that episode.
The first is when Carrie comes back unexpectedly from Paris and goes to the place where she has Saturday morning breakfast on a regular basis with Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. The girls aren't expecting her and when she taps on the window to capture their attention, they go crazy when they see her. Bat-shit crazy. I have seen my girlfriends do that. It's incredible. The other scene from that episode that captures my heart is when Carrie is on the floor of the hotel hallway, heartbroken and just simply 'done'. She crying and defeated when she looks up and sees 'Big'. There is a look that she has on her face; it's a look that's reserved for him and him alone.
That melts my heart.
Ok. Now for some fun. A few great SATC quotes to make you smile!
Carrie: I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.
Carrie: Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.
Carrie: Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.
Carrie: Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us and understand us and kiss our three heads and make it all better.
Samantha: [to the girls] I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.
Carrie: Now it's airborne.
Miranda: [on finding out she is pregnant] WHY didn't I use a condom?
Carrie: You didn't use a condom?
Miranda: He has one ball, and I have a lazy ovary! In what twisted world does that create a baby? It's like the Special Olympics of conception!
Carrie: Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.
Stanford: I can only stay a few minutes. I got tickets to the Vagina Monologues.
Carrie: Why?
Stanford: Just because I don't eat at the restaurant doesn't mean I can't hear the specials.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Eloquence
I have tried and tried to come up with the words to explain the past 2 years of my life. I've come close; I've written pages and spent hours in my own head coming up with just the right way to explain it. I received a quote from a friend today and when I read it, I felt like I'd been hit over the head with a baseball bat.
"...and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom..."
~Anais Nin~
Shazam. Thank you Anais Nin... and thank you, my friend for sharing this quote with me.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Blogging In Real Time
The Blind Bay Bitches (BBB's).
Barb (of course), Holly, Claudette, Diane, Tamara, Aleia, Steph and Monica. A surprise party.
I thought that Barb and I were going to have an innocent night of movies and cream cheese in our pajamas. I had the pajama part right. Barb and I went into town to pick up a few supplies and to watch Jacob's hockey game. She decided we needed ice. And kahlua. And appetizers. Did I clue in that there might be a party in the works? N-o-o-o-o-o. We arrived home to vehicles everywhere.
It was a suprise pajama party planned by the BBB's (Claudette and Barb especially). Of course this was the first time EVER that I forgot to bring pj's to Blind Bay. WTF??? I posted on facebook that I needed pj's and sent out a plea to the BBB's to bring me a pair. The response? Nothing. NOTHING. I was perplexed and a bit sad. Where was the love?!!!! Barb made me go to Zeller's to buy some (so that I would have them for the party), warning me that I would regret it later if I didn't. Did I catch on at that point? Nope. There were other reasons motivating her for that, but I won't get into that right now.
When Barb and I walked in, all the girls were in their jammies. Laughter, fun and girl bonding; the usual with these lovely ladies. I'm blogging in 'real time' tonight which I've never done before. Holly and Claudette (thanks for bringing the tequila, toots!) are staying overnight. They are all giggling and cleaning up the appies (read: eating) as I write this and they are a bit nervous about the blogging I'm doing at this moment. No need to be frightened, girls. Not until Holly posts the photos on facebook at least. Then I will hijack them and post them here for my readers reading pleasure. (Mwah ha ha ha ha.....)
Stay tuned for more!! Thanks, my Blind Bay friends. Love you to bits. Thank you for always making me feel so loved and welcome.
Barb (of course), Holly, Claudette, Diane, Tamara, Aleia, Steph and Monica. A surprise party.
I thought that Barb and I were going to have an innocent night of movies and cream cheese in our pajamas. I had the pajama part right. Barb and I went into town to pick up a few supplies and to watch Jacob's hockey game. She decided we needed ice. And kahlua. And appetizers. Did I clue in that there might be a party in the works? N-o-o-o-o-o. We arrived home to vehicles everywhere.
It was a suprise pajama party planned by the BBB's (Claudette and Barb especially). Of course this was the first time EVER that I forgot to bring pj's to Blind Bay. WTF??? I posted on facebook that I needed pj's and sent out a plea to the BBB's to bring me a pair. The response? Nothing. NOTHING. I was perplexed and a bit sad. Where was the love?!!!! Barb made me go to Zeller's to buy some (so that I would have them for the party), warning me that I would regret it later if I didn't. Did I catch on at that point? Nope. There were other reasons motivating her for that, but I won't get into that right now.
When Barb and I walked in, all the girls were in their jammies. Laughter, fun and girl bonding; the usual with these lovely ladies. I'm blogging in 'real time' tonight which I've never done before. Holly and Claudette (thanks for bringing the tequila, toots!) are staying overnight. They are all giggling and cleaning up the appies (read: eating) as I write this and they are a bit nervous about the blogging I'm doing at this moment. No need to be frightened, girls. Not until Holly posts the photos on facebook at least. Then I will hijack them and post them here for my readers reading pleasure. (Mwah ha ha ha ha.....)
Stay tuned for more!! Thanks, my Blind Bay friends. Love you to bits. Thank you for always making me feel so loved and welcome.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Love Letter (Part 2)
As I said in the previous post, a love letter can come in many forms. This is one that I received over 8 months ago but I've saved it and I read it often.
People who know me very, very well know that when I'm struggling, I withdraw. They don't receive phone calls from me. When they call, I don't answer. I avoid everyone as I curl up and lick my wounds. Another quirk that my inner circle is aware of is the fact that I'm a total cry baby during a chick flick or a long distance commercial, but when it comes to serious matters of the heart, I'm Margaret Thatcher.
When my marriage was at it's absolute worst and I was close to making the decision to leave, I had been avoiding My Barb because of both of the above reasons. This is the email that I received from her.
Ok my friend, what can we do to pull your life outta the terlit?
I can't believe you are avoiding me so you don't cry. I thought we talked and agreed crying is good. As you know I usually perceive things as all about me. So I was starting to think you just didn't want to talk to me.....
You can not avoid, avoid, avoid. It won't make anything better.... all it will do is cause you to be living in limbo, miserably living in limbo.
I can only imaging how tuff it is going to be to make the decision you need to make. But please don't make yourself sick by not moving forward. You are a strong, amazing woman who is a great mom and very intuitive in regards to her children's needs. They too will be fine. Please don't avoid me cause you're gonna cry.... just fucking cry dammit. That is what we do for each other. Don't be changing up the rules now.
I won't tell you how much I luv ya because I don't want to upset you.... know that I am here and when you are ready you know how to find me.
We will get through this together... one way or another.
I can't tell you the impact this letter had on me. When I read "We will get through this...." I knew that everything was going to be ok. Barb didn't say "YOU will get through this....", she said that 'we' will. I wasn't alone and I had people who would support me while I made the most difficult decision of my life.
This letter also helped me to be less of an ostrich during times of trouble. Why go through it alone when you have people like this in your life who want to support you? Sheesh.
People who know me very, very well know that when I'm struggling, I withdraw. They don't receive phone calls from me. When they call, I don't answer. I avoid everyone as I curl up and lick my wounds. Another quirk that my inner circle is aware of is the fact that I'm a total cry baby during a chick flick or a long distance commercial, but when it comes to serious matters of the heart, I'm Margaret Thatcher.
When my marriage was at it's absolute worst and I was close to making the decision to leave, I had been avoiding My Barb because of both of the above reasons. This is the email that I received from her.
Ok my friend, what can we do to pull your life outta the terlit?
I can't believe you are avoiding me so you don't cry. I thought we talked and agreed crying is good. As you know I usually perceive things as all about me. So I was starting to think you just didn't want to talk to me.....
You can not avoid, avoid, avoid. It won't make anything better.... all it will do is cause you to be living in limbo, miserably living in limbo.
I can only imaging how tuff it is going to be to make the decision you need to make. But please don't make yourself sick by not moving forward. You are a strong, amazing woman who is a great mom and very intuitive in regards to her children's needs. They too will be fine. Please don't avoid me cause you're gonna cry.... just fucking cry dammit. That is what we do for each other. Don't be changing up the rules now.
I won't tell you how much I luv ya because I don't want to upset you.... know that I am here and when you are ready you know how to find me.
We will get through this together... one way or another.
I can't tell you the impact this letter had on me. When I read "We will get through this...." I knew that everything was going to be ok. Barb didn't say "YOU will get through this....", she said that 'we' will. I wasn't alone and I had people who would support me while I made the most difficult decision of my life.
This letter also helped me to be less of an ostrich during times of trouble. Why go through it alone when you have people like this in your life who want to support you? Sheesh.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Love Letter (Part 1)
There are many kinds of love letters that a person can receive. Tonight I opened my facebook inbox to find one from my daughter. I asked for her permission to put it on my blog because it warmed my cold little black heart in a way that I can hardly begin to describe. Here's what she wrote:
Mom,
When you write to me, it makes me feel so loved. Just the words you say make life so much more enjoyable. In your writing, you pass on emotion. I cannot wait to see you. When I say this, I speak for the family. You are the glue that keeps us together. For the 5 of us. Then the Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents, even for the people that aren't family. You keep family and friends together! Anyways, I just wanted to let you know how special you are.
It's incredible that she wrote this to me. Being the organizer/mother hen was the role I played in my family while I was growing up. In the past year as I made significant changes in my life, I withdrew from that role and my brother Darryl has let me know that my absence was palpable. This note from Gigi reminded me that while my 'hiatus' was necessary, it's time for me to get back in the game. I miss my sibs and we seem to be more cohesive when I'm doing my bossy-sister gig. I think they actually like it too.
Mom,
When you write to me, it makes me feel so loved. Just the words you say make life so much more enjoyable. In your writing, you pass on emotion. I cannot wait to see you. When I say this, I speak for the family. You are the glue that keeps us together. For the 5 of us. Then the Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents, even for the people that aren't family. You keep family and friends together! Anyways, I just wanted to let you know how special you are.
It's incredible that she wrote this to me. Being the organizer/mother hen was the role I played in my family while I was growing up. In the past year as I made significant changes in my life, I withdrew from that role and my brother Darryl has let me know that my absence was palpable. This note from Gigi reminded me that while my 'hiatus' was necessary, it's time for me to get back in the game. I miss my sibs and we seem to be more cohesive when I'm doing my bossy-sister gig. I think they actually like it too.
(Picture of my two favourite women in the world; Gigi and my Beloved Seeso.)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I know, I know!!!!
Yes, it's been awhile since I've blogged. Thank you Barb, for reminding me. (Over and over and over again.) Barb hasn't been the only friend who has nudged me on this topic, just the most persistent one. When I logged in to the site, I wasn't sure if I remembered the password so I guess she may have a point. Please understand just how painful it is for me to actually admit to that.
My last post was on September 6th and so much has happened since then. I've been to PEI and to Vegas. I've attended a Pirate Party hosted by the amazing Don and Tamara. Snow has fallen and I'm now walking up and down my driveway; Shangri-la is definitely more appealing in the summer time, let me tell ya. I hosted a girl-party last weekend and we ate and danced and laughed which is always so good for the soul. (Yay girlfriends!)
And? I've started dating. Yup. Dating. What a bizarre world that is. I've met some really nice men and some not-so-nice men. It's a steep learning curve but such an adventure; I can honestly say that I've learned something from each of of these men and that can only be good, right? One has ended up becoming a good friend and my sounding board for dating (Hi Randy!). Another didn't like my fridge magnets (buh bye). I'm not in a hurry to find a partner and I really am content on my own.... but as Randy reminds me, we're not meant to be alone. I'm trying hard to be in the moment and to move forward with my new life and for the most part it feels pretty damn good I must admit.
Soooo.... I will post some pictures of the hinjinx from the past 3 months (Yes Barb, I did feel shame in writing that sentence. Mission accomplished.) and I will do my very best to be a bit more consistent with my posts. I really do appreciate that y'all enjoy my blog; thank you so much for that. I am truly grateful to have such amazing friends in my world. See you soon!
Crazy dancing women. 'Nuff said.
Downtown Charlottetown, fall day, mid-afternoon. Nirvana.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Toughest Blog Ever
How do I write this post?
Today I want to write about a friend who is very private and shy. I've mentioned her before on my blog, but only in passing. She knows this particular post is inevitable and has given me direction; nothing sappy or sucky. Period. So.... I'm trying to figure out how to respect her wishes while conveying what her friendship means to me. (Geez... that sentence probably already crossed a line into her 'sucky-free' zone).
I've mentioned before that my two closest friends are both named 'Barb'. They couldn't be more different. As we all know, Barb Yule LOVES to have her name in neon lights on my blog. Barb Vincent (Barbent)? Cringes at the thought.
I met Barbent when she first moved to town. We were at meeting and she was asking about the local services and wanted to know if there was a library. Library, you say? My ears perked up immediately and we started talking about books. Off we went and we didn't stop until another person at the table suggested we might want to go for coffee so that the meeting could get back on track. So, we did and the rest is history.
I don't know how to describe Barb. She's shy and bold. Quiet and hilarious. Soft and strong. A walking contradiction. We are ridiculously alike. During the past two years she has been an incredible source of support for me as my marriage imploded. She never once told me what she thought I should do; however she did say "Something has to happen. You can't just keep spinning your wheels." She was right.
She makes me laugh (til we both snort). She calls me on my shit. She asks the hard questions. She makes me watch 'The Bachelor'. She stalks me when I'm overwhelmed and I withdraw into my cocoon, ignoring the phone and the world around me (which is my modus operandi). She's an amazing friend and we don't get too many of those in this life.
She's moving to Regina. Today. We went for dinner last night, the two of us with her wonderful, patient partner, Norm. LDR and Tim joined us too and we had a great time. Tons of laughter and great conversation. I tried to pretend it was just dinner, not the last dinner. Today I went up to the barn where she and Norm were loading the horses into the trailer before leaving. I almost missed them and we stopped on the side of the road to say goodbye. Impossible to pretend this time. I will miss her more than I can tell you and Nakusp feels like such a very lonely place today.
(Not too sucky, right? How did I do??)
Today I want to write about a friend who is very private and shy. I've mentioned her before on my blog, but only in passing. She knows this particular post is inevitable and has given me direction; nothing sappy or sucky. Period. So.... I'm trying to figure out how to respect her wishes while conveying what her friendship means to me. (Geez... that sentence probably already crossed a line into her 'sucky-free' zone).
I've mentioned before that my two closest friends are both named 'Barb'. They couldn't be more different. As we all know, Barb Yule LOVES to have her name in neon lights on my blog. Barb Vincent (Barbent)? Cringes at the thought.
I met Barbent when she first moved to town. We were at meeting and she was asking about the local services and wanted to know if there was a library. Library, you say? My ears perked up immediately and we started talking about books. Off we went and we didn't stop until another person at the table suggested we might want to go for coffee so that the meeting could get back on track. So, we did and the rest is history.
I don't know how to describe Barb. She's shy and bold. Quiet and hilarious. Soft and strong. A walking contradiction. We are ridiculously alike. During the past two years she has been an incredible source of support for me as my marriage imploded. She never once told me what she thought I should do; however she did say "Something has to happen. You can't just keep spinning your wheels." She was right.
She makes me laugh (til we both snort). She calls me on my shit. She asks the hard questions. She makes me watch 'The Bachelor'. She stalks me when I'm overwhelmed and I withdraw into my cocoon, ignoring the phone and the world around me (which is my modus operandi). She's an amazing friend and we don't get too many of those in this life.
She's moving to Regina. Today. We went for dinner last night, the two of us with her wonderful, patient partner, Norm. LDR and Tim joined us too and we had a great time. Tons of laughter and great conversation. I tried to pretend it was just dinner, not the last dinner. Today I went up to the barn where she and Norm were loading the horses into the trailer before leaving. I almost missed them and we stopped on the side of the road to say goodbye. Impossible to pretend this time. I will miss her more than I can tell you and Nakusp feels like such a very lonely place today.
(Not too sucky, right? How did I do??)
Done!
Just to be clear;
#1 Packrat - Priscilla
#2 Packrat - Percy
How do I know this? Because I caught Percy and he was MUCH bigger (and stinkier... sorry fellas) than the first one. He was far less agreeable to the whole 'getting caught' process as well.
I'd like to believe that I'm done with trapping critters. Some friends laugh when I say this. They believe that there is an entire family (with in-laws and cousins) living here or at least nearby. I set the trap again last night, just in case. No packrat this morning.
I'll be sure to keep you posted.
*sigh*
#1 Packrat - Priscilla
#2 Packrat - Percy
How do I know this? Because I caught Percy and he was MUCH bigger (and stinkier... sorry fellas) than the first one. He was far less agreeable to the whole 'getting caught' process as well.
I'd like to believe that I'm done with trapping critters. Some friends laugh when I say this. They believe that there is an entire family (with in-laws and cousins) living here or at least nearby. I set the trap again last night, just in case. No packrat this morning.
I'll be sure to keep you posted.
*sigh*
Friday, September 4, 2009
A Conversation
So, Suze... it's Friday night! What are you up to?
Well, dear Internet, I'm setting a trap for a Packrat.
Good heavens, Suze. Why would you do such a thing? You already caught Percy!
Why yes. Yes I did already catch Percy. You're absolutely correct.
Then why on earth would you set the trap again? Is this a new hobby for you?
Oh, no!! *chuckle, chuckle, chuckle* Silly, Internet. It's not a new hobby for me. I'm setting the Packrat trap yet again BECAUSE I HAVE ANOTHER FUCKING PACKRAT LIVING WITH ME. How do I know this? Because I found a previously unopened package of crackers on the floor of my laundry room with a big FUCKING chewy-hole chewed in it. Not a delicate little mouse chewy-hole, a big Packrat chewy hole. Remember our "Is it a Percy or Priscilla Packrat" debate? Yeah, try Percy AND Priscilla.
Oh. Oh, dear.
Yeah. "Oh, dear indeed."
********
I was clearly in denial.
My friend Barb (Barbent, not Mybarb) said "Susan, I think you might have another packrat..."
To which I replied, "No. No, I don't. I only had one and it's gone."
My son Connor said, "Ma... the packrat you caught isn't the same colour as the one we saw the other night...."
To which I replied, "You must be mistaken, Connor. Perhaps it was the light."
Wish me luck. Mybarb is dying to have a critter of her own and has asked me to relocate the packrat to her house. I plan to happily oblige her. Karma, Baby!
Well, dear Internet, I'm setting a trap for a Packrat.
Good heavens, Suze. Why would you do such a thing? You already caught Percy!
Why yes. Yes I did already catch Percy. You're absolutely correct.
Then why on earth would you set the trap again? Is this a new hobby for you?
Oh, no!! *chuckle, chuckle, chuckle* Silly, Internet. It's not a new hobby for me. I'm setting the Packrat trap yet again BECAUSE I HAVE ANOTHER FUCKING PACKRAT LIVING WITH ME. How do I know this? Because I found a previously unopened package of crackers on the floor of my laundry room with a big FUCKING chewy-hole chewed in it. Not a delicate little mouse chewy-hole, a big Packrat chewy hole. Remember our "Is it a Percy or Priscilla Packrat" debate? Yeah, try Percy AND Priscilla.
Oh. Oh, dear.
Yeah. "Oh, dear indeed."
********
I was clearly in denial.
My friend Barb (Barbent, not Mybarb) said "Susan, I think you might have another packrat..."
To which I replied, "No. No, I don't. I only had one and it's gone."
My son Connor said, "Ma... the packrat you caught isn't the same colour as the one we saw the other night...."
To which I replied, "You must be mistaken, Connor. Perhaps it was the light."
Wish me luck. Mybarb is dying to have a critter of her own and has asked me to relocate the packrat to her house. I plan to happily oblige her. Karma, Baby!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Percy is Pissed!
Seriously people!!!
Look at his cute eyes. His cute little fingers. His bushy little tail!
Everyone; meet Percy.
(I can't get used to Priscilla. Just can't do it.)
Since I had no success for 2 nights in a row with the trap, I decided to do a little googling. The general consensus seemed to be that peanut butter was the best lure, so I put some on a cracker, tucked it into the cage and set the trap. I turned the lights off, came into my bedroom and was sitting on the edge of my bed, setting my alarm clock for the morning when I heard 'wham'! I assumed that I simply hadn't set the trap correctly and went to reset it.
The second I entered the kitchen, Percy went bananas.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
It was like the cage itself was alive. I grabbed my camera (thinking of y'all and the photos I promised) and laid down on my stomach on the floor. I started talking to him and he settled right down. I guess he's used to my voice. He was very curious about the camera and the noises that it was making but went about his business, eating peanut butter and trying to plot his escape.
At the moment, Percy is in his cage in the garage. Driving up a logging road in the dark at 11:00pm on a Sunday night didn't seem like the smartest choice so he'll stay there until I finish work tomorrow and I'll do the release then.
I know I sound very calm and brave at the moment, but of course after I discovered him, I immediately called my friend-who-doesn't-want-to-be-named-in-my-blog (still rhymes with 'Barb Vincent') and left her a hysterical voicemail message. I have no doubt that she will laugh hysterically when she listens to it. I bet Percy would LOVE to move in with Barb.... she has a nice horse trailer that would be perfect for him.
So. Percy 3, Suze 1. I'm not confident enough to claim victory just yet.... little Houdini could still suprise me when I open the garage door tomorrow.
To be continued....
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