Oh, So Pretty....

Another stye.
WTF???
Seriously people. This is the second one this year.

Yes, I know that there are bigger problems in the world.... war, people starving, Jon and Kate divorcing (tongue firmly planted in cheek) but c'mon! These little suckers hurt.

On the bright side, the sun is shining, my brother is coming to visit (Yay Glen!) and I am otherwise healthy and happy. It's Sunday morning and I'm sitting in my jammies enjoying a delicious cup of coffee and my darling Brats should be arriving soon which makes me very happy indeed.

Ok. I feel better.
Stupid stye.

Well now.

Holy Cats.

It's been a long time since I've posted, hasn't it?


Well, much has changed since my last message and I've been pretty busy with rearranging my life but I'm b-a-a-a-c-k.


Since my last post, my marriage has ended. I've moved out and have set up a new home with the help of my amazing friends. I have absolutely no idea how I would have made this transition without their help, love and support.


Here's what I did to set up my new house: nothing. I kid you not. I managed to put my back out lifting a bag of dog food out of the back of my van the morning of the move. Of course, no one believed me but they let me boss them around anyway. Here's how it went.....

• Sara and Braden (Barb's kids) loaded up a trailer full of furniture from Salmon Arm and drove it here for me. A six hour round trip for gas money and lunch. Amazing. Thank you.


• Pam and Judy unpacked and set up pretty much everything. I kid you not. Because of them, I sit on my couch in the morning drinking my coffee and looking at the view. Had I been in charge of setting up the furniture, the back of the sofa would have been against the windows with a view of a lovely red wall because of the way my linear brain works. Pam and Judy... I think of you every morning. Thank you.


• Seeso and her hubby made this beautiful place available for me where I can look at the lake and lick my wounds. I love you forever. Thank you.


• Tamara, Barb, Mike and Val, Pam, Barbent and Judy provided furniture and kitchen supplies for me. My children have beds, I have a diningroom table and there is a killer sectional in my family room because of you folks. Your generosity leaves me speechless. Thank you.


• Teddy made me laugh when I needed it most and took care of all the 'blue jobs' on my list of things to do. Saucy, you're a little sliver of heaven. Thank you.


• Claudette sent me an email full of words of wisdom that has grounded me and kept me looking forward. You are one in a million, girlfriend. Thank you.


• Denise sent a book for me that has helped me to see this journey through a completely different lens and it has given me so much strength. I owe you a glass of wine on my next visit to Blind Bay, sweetie. Thank you.


• Shori and Tana have promised to stock my spice cupboard. Soon, my food will not taste bland! Thank you.
• The girls at work (Shori, Margaret, Tana, Darcy and Shannon) along with my boss, have been incredibly supportive. Thank you for understanding.


• Maverick reminded me throughout this time that I am strong. I needed that reminder often and I am forever grateful to him for that. Thank you.


• Barb, who has always been around whenever I have needed her, came. She came because there was nowhere else on earth she would have been on the weekend when I made this leap. She unpacked and talked and made me laugh... and she was here. I honestly can't imagine my life without you, my best friend in the world. Thank you.

If I have forgotten anyone, please forgive me. I am, without a doubt, one of the luckiest people alive because of the wonderful people in my life. The future is scary and exciting and daunting and unpredictable. With support like this, I feel like I can face anything.

Bring it on.

Jack-the-Lou

This is my Jack. I've wanted to blog about him for a long time but it was important to me that I capture him accurately; not an easy task with this complex, wonderful fella.

Jack will be 13 years old in a month and of my three children, time seems to have gone more quickly with him. Jack is not the classic middle child; he is gentle and demands almost nothing of anyone. He goes with the flow and has such a practical nature. Because he is so quiet.... hold on. Quick clarification here. He is quiet everywhere in the world other than home. At home? Non-stop entertainment, energy and talking. Holy Cats, this boy can talk and he is so very funny. It's rare for a day to pass where Jack doesn't make me laugh until I cry. But I digress .... because he is so quiet and is sandwiched between to very extroverted, vivacious siblings, it would be easy to miss out on the beauty that is 'Jack' (Just Jack!). That doesn't tend to happen, however because there is something about Jack that draws people to him.

I have so much to say about him that my fingers on the keyboard can't keep up to my thoughts.... so I'm going to put it in bullet form.

Jack Facts

• Jack didn't talk until he was 3. I'm convinced that the only reason for this is that he didn't really have anything he felt compelled to say until that point.


• When he did start to talk it wasn't long before he was speaking in full sentences and conveying profound thoughts. One of the first sentences I remember coming from Jack was "Mommy? Do aliens believe in Homo Sapiens?" Huh??!!! Classic Jack. Commonly people ask one another if they believe in aliens. Jack, my little 'out-of-the-box' thinker saw it from a completely different angle.


• As you can see in the photo above, Jack had a Mohawk last summer. Jack had been growing his hair out with a plan to have a monster Mohawk with liberty spikes. He didn't mention it to me until his hair was long enough to do it. People were so shocked because Jack is such a sweet, gentle soul and with the Mohawk, he looks like a rebellious anarchist. He loves the shock value of that contrast. He's considering Dreads next.


• Jack is one of the funniest people I know. It's effortless for him. We both love 'The Family Guy' (I know, I know.... I'm a bad mother, but it's so freakin' funny!!!) and Jack can do a dead-on imitation of all the male characters. I'm telling you, you haven't lived until you've heard my boy mimic 'Herbert the Pervert'.


• Jack is amazing with animals. He seems to have an intrinsic understanding of them and they in turn are drawn to him. We have 2 cats and a dog and they all want to sleep with him every night. Four beds in the house, but they all want Jack.


• Jack can act. Who knew? This quiet, shy guy unleashed his inner thespian recently (in a musical, no less!) where he played a rebel Humpty Dumpty. He nailed it and people in the community were stunned and delighted to see this side of Jack.

Jack has big plans. In grades 3, 5 and 7 he had teachers who made a huge difference in his life (Thank you, thank you, thank you Mr. Johnston, Mr. Brellisford and Mrs. Leitch). Their influence in Jack's world has contributed to his desire to be a teacher..... but he also wants to see the world. He's decided that for him, there is no better way to see the world than to teach everywhere that he can. I have visions of Jack calling me (you better call your Mamma!!!) from the four corners of the earth, making me laugh with his funny stories. He's a determined soul and I have no doubt that he will achieve everything he puts his mind to.

Yes, I'm his Mom and I have to say it, but it's so true; the world is a better place because Jack Louis Gustafson is in it. How do you not love a guy who turns his brother's hoodie (see picture at the top of the page) into a chicken costume just to make his Mom laugh?? Love you, Louis!!!

Subtle Influences

This is a picture of Connor when he was about 3 or 4 years old. I made him smile for the camera when all he wanted to do was play with his cousins.... hence the grimace. "Just get it over with, Ma!!"

I was telling a story to a close friend today about Connor when he was this age... my friend said "You need to blog that story!!!" and he was right. I really do, so here it is.

When Connor was around 4 years old, I had to take him to the Doctor for a check up. Connor loved Dr. Kelland and still does to this day. As we drove into town, he told me how excited he was to be seeing her. I told him "Connor, Dr. Kelland is away so you'll be seeing a different Doctor today." Connor asked "What's her name?" I said "It's not a 'she'; you'll be seeing a boy Doctor today." I could hear him giggling in his car seat behind me when he said "Oh, Mommy! Boys can't be Doctors!!"

When I told Dr. Kelland the story, she threw her hands up in the air and said "I can retire! My work is done!!"

Recently I was at a luncheon titled 'Women in Leadership'. One of the speakers was our (as of last night) newly elected MLA, Katrine Conroy. She spoke of her career journey and the stereotypes she's had to overcome as a woman who has worked in non-traditional employment settings. She's a pipefitter, for cryin' out loud. When she started working in that field, the plant she worked at didn't have a women's washroom.

At the luncheon, I told the group of women the story about Connor and the Doctor's visit. I told Katrine how I appreciated the path she's chosen and what a difference just her presence made for young people and their perception of what it means to be a politician..... and a woman.

When I was growing up, I was asked "Do you want to be a teacher or a nurse?" Those days are long gone and there is something wonderful about the fact that young women now have no idea just how recently women had such limitations put on them.

You've come a long way, baby..... :-))

Seeso

This post is about my beautiful, sweet, intelligent, funny sister. It's entirely possible that she is my favourite person on the planet. Most of you know her as 'Karen' but to me, she is 'Seeso'.

Karen is 2 years younger than I am and I simply cannot imagine what my life would be like without her. In this picture, she is 2 and I'm 4 and we've just woken up from a nap. I still remember our Mom taking this picture and I also remember how warm and tiny and yummy she felt beside me under the blankets.

Growing up, Glen and Darryl were 'the boys' and Karen and I were 'the girls'. Karen was always my little shadow and my built in best friend. We slept together for many years in a double bed. My thrifty Mom had sewn two single fitted sheets into a double fitted sheet and there was a seam down the center of the bed because of it. If Karen slid so much as a toe across that line, I was yelling for Mom, tattling that Karen was on MY side of the bed. When my parents renovated and I finally had my own room, I spent more than one night stuffing dolls and clothing in my bed so it would appear that I was sleeping in it in order to sneak into her room to sleep with her.

Growing up, we had the normal fights that sisters have over clothes being borrowed without permission, chore distribution and make-up (yes, I did steal your fabulous blush brush; it's in my make-up bag as I type this!), but we have always been very, very close. I don't remember when it happened, but there was a very clear moment when she went from being my 'little sister' to being my 'seeso'. I'm still very, very protective of her but only because I love her, not because she is younger than me or requires my protection.

Karen is a person who is liked by everyone. She's always smiling and is so kind.... but the formidible Pelchat-woman spirit is firmly planted in her soul too. Karen has always amazed me with her ability to have very clear boundaries and an ability to say 'no' unequivocally when she needs to. I have learned so much about that from her.

Although we were close growing up, I was always surprised at how different we were. I saw the two of us a polar opposites and was always a bit sad that we weren't more alike, however as we grow older, the similarities are becoming more obvious... shockingly so actually. We laugh alike. We have similar mannerisms. We use the same phrases. We both have crazy green eyes. We think alike in so many ways and it's such a wonderful feeling to have someone in the world who sees things in a similar way. She makes me feel like less of a freak somehow.

When I moved to Nakusp, I knew I had to lure her here. I helped her to find a job and once she found a man, I knew she was mine for good! She lived here for 15 years then found a job in Nelson. At first I didn't believe her and once I realized that she was serious, I ignored her. I wouldn't talk to her. I wasn't mean.... I just needed to detach and build a little wall around my heart so that it wouldn't hurt quite as much when she left. She assured me that we would see MORE of each other once she moved, something that I thought was completely ridiculous. Our offices were across the street from each other for God's sake! But.... she was right. We see far more of one another now that she lives 2 hours away from me and our visits are much more intimate. We are closer than we've ever been.

Karen understands me. I can tell her anything.... anything and I know without hesitation that she won't judge me, no matter what I say. She loves me unconditionally and is always there me, as I am for her.

I love her ferociously and I'm grateful every single day of my life for the gift of my Seeso.

(In the above picture, Karen has just finished a sambucca shooter that was lit on fire while inside her mouth. I kid you not. She may look like a sweet little lamb but there is a very kooky girl under all of those curls.)

Karma

Main Entry: kar·ma

Pronunciation: \ˈkär-mə also ˈkər-\
Function: noun
Etymology: Sanskrit karma fate, work
Date: 1827

: the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence

My sister is a beautiful, amazing, intelligent woman, but she is also very lucky. No, not just lucky.... horseshoes-up-her-ass-cushioned-with-a-bouquet-of-four-leaf-clovers kind of lucky. I went to Nelson on the weekend to visit her and to take a friend out for a birthday dinner. We had a really nice time having dinner, shooting pool and dancing. Throughout the night, Karen misplaced her cell phone a couple of times... her work cell phone. However, she always managed to find it up until the end of the night. Nope. It was nowhere.

The next day we went to town shopping and checked everywhere for it. We retraced our steps but it was nowhere to be found. Karen was a bit worried, but she said "It will turn up. That's why I don't have to worry about my stuff... it just always works out."

I received an email from Karen today. Here's what it said, in a nutshell:

"Guess what happened with my cell phone?! I went to work and confessed that I'd lost it and my boss told me that she ordered a new cell phone for me last week and that it had arrived. She said not to worry about it at all. Then, two hours later some nice person showed up at the office and returned the one I lost!"

The only explanation I have for Karen's good karma is that she was the equivalent of Mother Teresa in her past life. (Ok, and is a total sweetheart in this one.)

Yeah.

Wanna know what happened to me this week? I was walking and blew my knee out. Not power walking, not diving in front of a train to save a small child... no. Just walking into Tana's office to say 'hi'. I didn't twist my knee. I didn't fall. I just took a step. A normal fucking step.

Explanation? I was the equivalent of George Bush in a past life. How do I know this? Because I think I'm a pretty decent gal in this one. (There are people who would disagree.)

Holy Cats. Honestly. Karma.

Brats

My Babies.

One of my favourite things to do once spring arrives to to drive down to the beach with the kids and Doc and just explore. The little ones (Jack and Bridget) find rocks and treasures while Connor and I walk along the shore, talking and throwing the stick for the dog.

Not a big blog post today... just a little note to keep Barb happy (a.k.a. 'shut her up') and to show how great a simple Sunday can be.

If anyone can help me come up with a method for making Jack smile in photos, there is a margarita in it for you. So far, the only thing that Connor and I have come up with is to whisper very inappropriate things in his ear. I'm not necessarily against that, but it would be nice to have an alternative for family functions.

Blind Bay Bitchiosity

I know, I know. You're very likely sick of hearing about Blind Bay, but this is a gooder! (I promise....)

It all began when I decided to show my gratitude to Barb's friends in Blind Bay by cooking a dinner for them. They have been so kind to me and so welcoming that I wanted to do something nice for them......


Before I go too far, I just need to say "HOLLY".

(Holly has a dream of being mentioned in my blog. As you can see from the previous sentence, she obviously has low expectations and is easy to please. That's why she's an excellent friend for me.) Holly was renamed "Hannah Montana" on this crazy Blind Bay weekend. I believe it was because of her great hair, but you'd have to ask Shawna to be sure about that one. But I digress.


The weekend started out when I arrived at Barb's on Friday night at 1:00 a.m. I travelled from Nakusp to Blind Bay via Osoyoos. No, I'm not kidding. Long story. The next morning I was beyond excited because I had a surprise for Barb. I love surprises. (Giving, not receiving). I was in cahoots with the infamous Shawna who is one of Barb's best friends ("Why you gotta go and be like that?"), arranging for her to come in for the weekend from Calgary. Barb was a bit suspicious so I had to play it very cool, something I am not very good at.


We drove into Kamloops to go grocery shopping and I told Barb that I had to pick something up at the Kamloops airport for my boss and pretended that it was a completely pain in the ass. After she drug me up and down every single fucking aisle in the dollar store AND the love shop, we finally left for the airport. Shawna had been texting me like a madwoman, wondering where we were. Finally, we arrived at the airport and as we pulled up to the front, I saw Shawna. I said to Barb "Oh, look! I don't have to go in. My package is outside waiting for me." At this point, Barb spotted Shawna. Ok... have you ever seen a small dog pawing at a car window to get out? Yeah, that was Barb. There was screaming and jumping and howling and more screaming. It was a pretty fantastic moment.


We grabbed Shawna, then ran around and did some shopping (already laughing so hard that we couldn't even speak in the grocery aisles and even entertained our fellow shoppers) then hit the road for Blind Bay. Somewhere on the road between Kamloops and Blind Bay, I managed to convince myself that my Blue Minivan was actually a Cherry Red '67 Mustang. Foreshadowing for a delusional and very funny weekend.


That night we played a civilized game called 'Sociables'. There is a picture floating around somewhere of me with a beer box on my head (with holes for my eyes, nose and mouth) and there are now reasons why I don't want to ride in Barb's boat. Needless to say, it was a very interesting game. We ended the night by crawling into the matching 'Tinkerbell' jammies that Shawna bought (thanks, Shawna!! I'm wearing them tonight as I type this), then all three of us crawled into Barb's king-sized bed. As you can imagine, there was a bit o' laughter at that point.


Saturday, we lazed around, laughed and cooked. The big dinner was that night and this was the menu:

• Bruschetta
• Crab/cream cheese stuffed mushrooms
• Caesar Salad
• Ravioli stuffed with brie in a tomato/alfredo sauce with garlic grilled chicken
• Death by Chocolate

As you can see, I tried to shamelessly bribe these women to be my friends.

Dinner, drinks, laughter. We celebrated four birthdays (Aleia, Steph, Holly and Diane) and had a fantastic time. We each wore a tiara, danced until the wee hours and a fabulous time was had by all (even Holly; her DUI bracelet didn't seem to bother her at all that night).

Claudette (Holy crap, I love Claudette) was good enough to drink tequila with me. I don't know what it is, perhaps a genetic flaw... but I LOVE tequila. I'm so happy to have found a friend who enjoys it as much as I do, although sometimes her love is scary. There are some things that are better left unexplained.

Tamara, Denise, Rona, Jen and Val were there too dancing and laughing and putting up with me trying to make them play charades. What a great bunch of women! Diane came back over the next morning and made us eggs benedict. Eggs Benedict!!! Now THAT is a fabulous girlfriend, I tell ya.

My daughter left a message for me on facebook that weekend. She asked: "Mommy, are you having fun? Are you laughing until you are snorting and crying? Then you are having fun." I love that she understands. I hope she is lucky enough to experience the sisterhood of friends that I have been so lucky to be part of in my life.

Blind Bay Bitches; here's to you. Thank you so much for welcoming me into your world and treating me like one of your own. Love you, girls!!

Girlfriends

At the beginning of March, I was lucky enough to spend the weekend with 6 fabulous women at a cabin just outside of Nakusp. Karen A is one of our gaggle and she did some rock work for a customer so he gave her the use of this cabin for the weekend in return.

It was a weekend of relaxation, laughter, amazing food and a drink. Or two. In addition to Karen A. and my beloved Seeso, (who is also 'Karen', hence the need to refer to Karen A as 'Karen A'.....) Louise and Andrea came in from Alberta, Kelly came in from Vernon and Teresa came in from Glenbank!! In typical chick fashion, there was enough food to feed an army. I'm not exaggerating. If we'd become stranded there, we could have easily survived for a week or two on the groceries that all the gals brought. We may have run out of booze and menthols, but food? We had plenty.

The first night everyone arrived and our good friend Ted (see the Christmas blog for more on this scalliwag....) was there to help us get set up and show us how to use the hot tub. This hot tub is actually fed by natural hot springs water, if you can imagine. The smell of brimstone conjured images of us as a coven I must admit and the last one in was always the "Hot Tub Bitch", meaning the last one in had to wait on us hand and foot. "Hot Tub Bitch! My drink is low!" or "Hot Tub Bitch! Warm my towel in the dryer!"

But, I digress -- back to Teddy. We essentially kidnapped him. We decided that we needed a rooster in the hen house and he stayed to dance with us until the wee hours and crashed on the floor. Can you imagine the sacrifice? Dancing in a remote cabin with 6 inebriated women? Such a giver, our Ted.....

The next morning we had a fantastic breakfast and went for a Snowshoe. Yes, snowshoeing!! This was my maiden voyage on these bits of shoe-wear so SOMEONE agreed to take us to a "flat" place. Let me just say that MY definition of 'flat' and a forest technician's definition of 'flat' are significantly different! It was a riot and I plan to ask Santa for a pair next year. The sun was shining and it felt great to get some exercise.

That evening we had another great meal and played 'naughty charades'. You haven't lived until you've seen my good friend Teresa act out the phrase "anal intruder". We laughed so hard and continued to giggle after going to bed. You know how you get the giggles and can't stop and pretty soon everyone in the room is laughing and no one knows why? There we were, in bed in the dark, giggling until we were crying. My belly hurt for 3 solid days. I wish I could laugh like that every single day for the rest of my life.

We have decided to make this an annual event. Next year, less food, more dancing and my very own pair of snowshoes. Yay! Chick weekends are my prescription for pretty much anything that ails you.

Thanks girls. Love you... can't wait for next year!

My Screech

This is my Bridget.

The G. Screech. Gigi. Screechface. Dolly. Babygirl. She has many nicknames and has a dimension to her personality to match each name.

She is a delightful mix of 'tomboy' and 'girly-girl'. In the picture here, she has padded her clothing and is being a sumo wrestler. She is a tiny, wee thing, but make no mistake, this girl is formidible.

Ever since I was a teenager, I was convinced that I would have three boys. I just knew it. So when I found out that I was pregnant for the third time after having two boys, I knew for certain that the next one would be a boy too. My pregnacy with Gigi was completely different. With the boys I felt great. With Gigi I was sick and psychotic. I kid you not. Ask my sister. In spite of this, I was till convinced that I was carrying a boy child and when I finally had her and the doctor said "It's a girl!!" all I could muster was "It's a WHAT??"

I was terrified to have a daughter. Sons? They were easy. But a girl? I had no idea what to do. I was scared that I wouldn't be a good mom to a daughter..... but when they put her in my arms, I was in love. Immediately. She was pink and yummy and I adored her instantly. Bridget was such an easy baby and thank god for that. Connor (the psycho toddler) was 4 and Jack was 2 so I had my hands full already. She rarely cried and was just so content, especially when her brothers would talk to her.

There has always been a certain level of reciprocity in my relationship with Bridget. I remember when she was only 2, I was really sick and on the couch wanting to die. Connor and Jack were running around like maniacs ("I'm hungry, Mom.... Mom, I'm thirsty. Mom, can you put a movie on for me? Mom? Mom?!!!") while Bridget was pulling my blanket up to my chin and kissing me on the head. That's when I truly realized just how different having a daughter was going to be.

I love sharing the 'girly' moments with Bridget. I love braiding her hair in the morning before school. I love asking her if my outfit looks all right before I leave for work. I love talking to her about things that the boys in the house don't care about. We're like co-conspirators here on the farm. Momma and The G against the world.....

Bridget is ridiculously organized. If I can't find something, I know all I have to do is ask and she'll know where it is. She is smart and funny and kind and I love being her Mommy. When I imagine the future with G, I can picture us as women; as friends. I imagine sharing with her all of the things that I missed out on by losing my Mom so early in life.

Bridget is a Pelchat woman in the making, make no mistake. Feisty, strong, full of laughter. Her third name is Gabrielle (after Aunty Gay) and she's proving to live up to the moniker. Having Bridget was like receiving an amazing gift that I didn't even know I wanted. Lucky me.