Mike 'n Sue

Meet Mike and Sue.

Mike and Sue are very close friends of my brother Darryl and I have hijacked them from him. I kid, I kid!! (Sorta). As Sue assures me, she has lots of love to go around.

I met these wonderful people last October during our annual 'Barth Sibling Weekend'. They were very gracious and didn't stay long, not wanting to interrupt the sib bonding, but they really wanted to pop by to meet Darryl's clan and I'm so glad that they did. Sue and I clicked immediately. You know when you meet a person and you think "Oh, yeah. THIS person I could really like..."? Exactly.

After meeting them in Calgary, Sue and I kept in touch periodically via email or now and then by phone but not often. A couple of weeks ago she called to touch base to see how I was doing (she'd heard through brother Dare about recent changes in my world) and then she called a few days later to say that they would be in BC and asked if it would it be ok if they came through Nakusp to stay the night? Hell, yes!

They arrived with amazing cheese and brilliant wine and a gift for me -- one of Mike's paintings that Sue had framed; a prairie landscape, my favourite. Anyone who knows me well knows that I collect prairie art. (See it above? Do you see that incredible sun?? I just love it.) Such an unexpected and much, much appreciated gift.

Within minutes of their arrival, Mike had a beer in hand and his watercolours unpacked and was out on the deck painting a landscape. It felt so comfortable and so.... right. They took me out for dinner (thanks again for the great meal, my friends) then we came home and ate the cheese and wine they brought. Let me stop here. This wasn't mozarella and Lonesome Charlie, ok? Seriously. Sue hates cheese but my God she knows how to pair it with wine. The purpose of their BC excursion was to purchase wine from a winery in Kermeos that they enjoy and it was a little sliver of heaven, let me tell you.

Connor sat up with us and we talked and listened to music into the wee hours. They introduced us to a great cd... the name of the artist escapes me at the moment, but man was it good. Very angsty and raw. Mike and Connor talked about guitars and it was so great to watch my boy connect with this incredible couple.

It's been a summer of fun and surprises. Challenges and painful growth for me and for my children. Having people like this in our life makes that road so much easier to travel. See you in December, my friends...

Gracie and the Shuswap

Holy Cats.

Does it get much better than this?? I went to visit Barb (the second that David's plane left for Siberia, as per usual) and was really needing some down time. We had a fantastic time laughing, eating, drinking and enjoying time on her deck, but the highlight was a day out on 'Gracie'.

'Gracie' is a boat owned by Don and Tamara, good friends of Barb's who have taken me under their Blind Bay wing. When I was moving , these kind folks sent a sectional sofa over for me to have. Seriously, who does that? Don and Tamara are simply good people. Kind, fun loving, excellent people. They are a great couple... spending the day on the boat with them was such a treat and being around them reminded me (and my cynical brain) that it is possible to find love again.

It was a sunny day on the Shuswap and Don drove us all over the place for hours. The poor bastard was the only rooster in the hen house so of course, we had to make him wear a bikini top. He was such a good sport about it but did spend a rather uncomfortable amount of time fondling his bikini top. He claims that spending the day on the boat with a bunch of tipsy women was a very educating experience. I think he may have learned more than he ever wanted to know about what drunken women talk about.

My Blind Bay Sista, Claudette joined us later in the day with a bottle of tequila. (I love you, Claudette!!!) Now, 'Gracie' has a potty on board. No lie. There is a trap door that you lift and it creates a curtained off area for privacy. Claudette decided to use the facilities and was in the curtained area when the boat started rocking, causing the trap door to close. Oh. My. God. All I could see was the trap door slowly closing with Claudette inside and her cute little head peeking out the top with a look of horror. Funny? Oh, yeah.

It was a wonderful day of relaxation, laughter and simplicity. When you are out on the water in the sunshine, nothing else exists. No worries, no anxiety. It was just what I needed.

In the pictures above, you can see me with Barb as we enjoy our day on the boat. You can also see Don and Tamara... yes, Tamara is my age but looks like a teenager. If she wasn't the sweetest person alive, it would be easy to hate her for this fact. Don and Tamara have an annual 'Talk Like a Pirate Day" party. I'm attending this year and you can guarantee there will be a lively blog post about that particular event! Thanks for an amazing day, my friends. You're the best!!

Mysterious Girlie Bits

So.

I had to have a small day surgery done this week, yes... on my mysterious girlie bits. Too much information? Likely, but how much fun is it to say 'Mysterious Girlie Bits'? Seriously.

Since I live in a small town, travel is an essential part of any medical procedure that needs to be done. Luckily, I only had to drive to Nelson (only 2 hours away) so I was able to leave the night before the surgery and stay with my beloved Seeso. In typical Suze fashion, I packed the agenda very tightly. My surgery was planned for August 20 which also happens to be Bridget's birthday so I organized a birthday dinner for her that was combined with a going-away party for Connor's good friend Jaimee who leaves for university soon. Yes, a dinner party for hungry teenagers combined with packing to leave for a surgery right after dinner. Oh, so smart.

As per usual I was running around like a maniac which almost always leads to trouble; and it did. While cooking I managed to burn my hand , quite badly. (Yes, Susan... the burner was hot. You didn't REALLY need to touch it to know that.) A blistering burn at the base of my thumb. By the time everyone was fed and I was packed and ready to go, I was feeling pretty fragile. A burn, surgery and saying goodbye to my Gigi; I have never been away from one of my kids on their birthday. Neither of us was handling it very well.

I was hugging Bridget while holding a frozed juice container in my hand, trying to cool the burn when the tears began. With a vengeance. I cried. Bridget cried. We clung to each other and cried our eyes out. Not my best parenting moment, but unavoidable.

I cried on the drive to Nelson just from feeling completely overwhelmed but it was good. I don't cry often and Barb loves it when I do. She firmly believes that I should do it more and she's probably right. It felt so good to just cry.

Sooo.... I arrived in Nelson and Seeso helped me set up a pot of ice water beside my bed. I slept with my hand soaking in it all night and it was much better by morning. Off to surgery at 7:00am. I was late because Karen and I started chatting and lost track of the time. (Sheesh.) I was convinced that since my surgery was so early in the morning, I would easily be able to drive home that night. HAH. Not so much. I was completely gorked from the anesthetic and had some lovely conversations on the the phone that I have absolutely no recollection of.

So now I'm home in my bed resting and recovering, letting my body heal. I have always pushed myself hard, but as I get older my body pushes back. Time to listen.

Three things before I finish this post:
1. Student nurse + Learning to start IV's = Ouch and bruising.
2. Yes, I know you are all grateful that I didn't include a photo to go along with my 'Mysterious Girlie Bits' entry.
3. Barb is going to love how much I blog while I'm incapacitated. I'm afraid that she will like it a bit too much and will go to great lengths to ensure that it happens on a regular basis. Once I'm healed and back to normal, if someone breaks into my house and breaks my kneecaps, I want everyone to know who is first on the list of suspects.

Gorked But Happy....

Yes, here it is. A blog post, finally. Now Barb can leave me alone.

It's been a bit of a whirlwind the past few months. There have been no shortage of topics for blogging, but it's been insane. No lie. Some of the upcoming posts you can look forward to in the next week are (I'm listing them so that I won't forget... and again, perhaps it will get Barb to stop nagging me):

• Mysterious Girlie Bits
• Brother Glen and my Introduction to Port
• Brother Darryl and His Support
• Mike and Sue
• Gracie and the Shuswap
• Moving. Again.
• My-Friend-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Who-Is-Abandoning-Me

I will be blogging quite a bit in the next while (the reason is related to "Mysterious Girlie Bits") so please check back and thanks for not giving up on me! My reason for being gorked is also related to "Mysterious Girlie Bits". Thank God most of my readers are women because I can guarantee that any male followers I may have had are now going to avoid this site like the plague simply to avoid having to read that particular post.

See you all soon. Seriously. (Barb, stop rolling your eyes at me. Sheesh.) Are y'all grateful to not have to look at my big, hideous sty now everytime you open this page?

Oh, So Pretty....

Another stye.
WTF???
Seriously people. This is the second one this year.

Yes, I know that there are bigger problems in the world.... war, people starving, Jon and Kate divorcing (tongue firmly planted in cheek) but c'mon! These little suckers hurt.

On the bright side, the sun is shining, my brother is coming to visit (Yay Glen!) and I am otherwise healthy and happy. It's Sunday morning and I'm sitting in my jammies enjoying a delicious cup of coffee and my darling Brats should be arriving soon which makes me very happy indeed.

Ok. I feel better.
Stupid stye.

Well now.

Holy Cats.

It's been a long time since I've posted, hasn't it?


Well, much has changed since my last message and I've been pretty busy with rearranging my life but I'm b-a-a-a-c-k.


Since my last post, my marriage has ended. I've moved out and have set up a new home with the help of my amazing friends. I have absolutely no idea how I would have made this transition without their help, love and support.


Here's what I did to set up my new house: nothing. I kid you not. I managed to put my back out lifting a bag of dog food out of the back of my van the morning of the move. Of course, no one believed me but they let me boss them around anyway. Here's how it went.....

• Sara and Braden (Barb's kids) loaded up a trailer full of furniture from Salmon Arm and drove it here for me. A six hour round trip for gas money and lunch. Amazing. Thank you.


• Pam and Judy unpacked and set up pretty much everything. I kid you not. Because of them, I sit on my couch in the morning drinking my coffee and looking at the view. Had I been in charge of setting up the furniture, the back of the sofa would have been against the windows with a view of a lovely red wall because of the way my linear brain works. Pam and Judy... I think of you every morning. Thank you.


• Seeso and her hubby made this beautiful place available for me where I can look at the lake and lick my wounds. I love you forever. Thank you.


• Tamara, Barb, Mike and Val, Pam, Barbent and Judy provided furniture and kitchen supplies for me. My children have beds, I have a diningroom table and there is a killer sectional in my family room because of you folks. Your generosity leaves me speechless. Thank you.


• Teddy made me laugh when I needed it most and took care of all the 'blue jobs' on my list of things to do. Saucy, you're a little sliver of heaven. Thank you.


• Claudette sent me an email full of words of wisdom that has grounded me and kept me looking forward. You are one in a million, girlfriend. Thank you.


• Denise sent a book for me that has helped me to see this journey through a completely different lens and it has given me so much strength. I owe you a glass of wine on my next visit to Blind Bay, sweetie. Thank you.


• Shori and Tana have promised to stock my spice cupboard. Soon, my food will not taste bland! Thank you.
• The girls at work (Shori, Margaret, Tana, Darcy and Shannon) along with my boss, have been incredibly supportive. Thank you for understanding.


• Maverick reminded me throughout this time that I am strong. I needed that reminder often and I am forever grateful to him for that. Thank you.


• Barb, who has always been around whenever I have needed her, came. She came because there was nowhere else on earth she would have been on the weekend when I made this leap. She unpacked and talked and made me laugh... and she was here. I honestly can't imagine my life without you, my best friend in the world. Thank you.

If I have forgotten anyone, please forgive me. I am, without a doubt, one of the luckiest people alive because of the wonderful people in my life. The future is scary and exciting and daunting and unpredictable. With support like this, I feel like I can face anything.

Bring it on.

Jack-the-Lou

This is my Jack. I've wanted to blog about him for a long time but it was important to me that I capture him accurately; not an easy task with this complex, wonderful fella.

Jack will be 13 years old in a month and of my three children, time seems to have gone more quickly with him. Jack is not the classic middle child; he is gentle and demands almost nothing of anyone. He goes with the flow and has such a practical nature. Because he is so quiet.... hold on. Quick clarification here. He is quiet everywhere in the world other than home. At home? Non-stop entertainment, energy and talking. Holy Cats, this boy can talk and he is so very funny. It's rare for a day to pass where Jack doesn't make me laugh until I cry. But I digress .... because he is so quiet and is sandwiched between to very extroverted, vivacious siblings, it would be easy to miss out on the beauty that is 'Jack' (Just Jack!). That doesn't tend to happen, however because there is something about Jack that draws people to him.

I have so much to say about him that my fingers on the keyboard can't keep up to my thoughts.... so I'm going to put it in bullet form.

Jack Facts

• Jack didn't talk until he was 3. I'm convinced that the only reason for this is that he didn't really have anything he felt compelled to say until that point.


• When he did start to talk it wasn't long before he was speaking in full sentences and conveying profound thoughts. One of the first sentences I remember coming from Jack was "Mommy? Do aliens believe in Homo Sapiens?" Huh??!!! Classic Jack. Commonly people ask one another if they believe in aliens. Jack, my little 'out-of-the-box' thinker saw it from a completely different angle.


• As you can see in the photo above, Jack had a Mohawk last summer. Jack had been growing his hair out with a plan to have a monster Mohawk with liberty spikes. He didn't mention it to me until his hair was long enough to do it. People were so shocked because Jack is such a sweet, gentle soul and with the Mohawk, he looks like a rebellious anarchist. He loves the shock value of that contrast. He's considering Dreads next.


• Jack is one of the funniest people I know. It's effortless for him. We both love 'The Family Guy' (I know, I know.... I'm a bad mother, but it's so freakin' funny!!!) and Jack can do a dead-on imitation of all the male characters. I'm telling you, you haven't lived until you've heard my boy mimic 'Herbert the Pervert'.


• Jack is amazing with animals. He seems to have an intrinsic understanding of them and they in turn are drawn to him. We have 2 cats and a dog and they all want to sleep with him every night. Four beds in the house, but they all want Jack.


• Jack can act. Who knew? This quiet, shy guy unleashed his inner thespian recently (in a musical, no less!) where he played a rebel Humpty Dumpty. He nailed it and people in the community were stunned and delighted to see this side of Jack.

Jack has big plans. In grades 3, 5 and 7 he had teachers who made a huge difference in his life (Thank you, thank you, thank you Mr. Johnston, Mr. Brellisford and Mrs. Leitch). Their influence in Jack's world has contributed to his desire to be a teacher..... but he also wants to see the world. He's decided that for him, there is no better way to see the world than to teach everywhere that he can. I have visions of Jack calling me (you better call your Mamma!!!) from the four corners of the earth, making me laugh with his funny stories. He's a determined soul and I have no doubt that he will achieve everything he puts his mind to.

Yes, I'm his Mom and I have to say it, but it's so true; the world is a better place because Jack Louis Gustafson is in it. How do you not love a guy who turns his brother's hoodie (see picture at the top of the page) into a chicken costume just to make his Mom laugh?? Love you, Louis!!!

Subtle Influences

This is a picture of Connor when he was about 3 or 4 years old. I made him smile for the camera when all he wanted to do was play with his cousins.... hence the grimace. "Just get it over with, Ma!!"

I was telling a story to a close friend today about Connor when he was this age... my friend said "You need to blog that story!!!" and he was right. I really do, so here it is.

When Connor was around 4 years old, I had to take him to the Doctor for a check up. Connor loved Dr. Kelland and still does to this day. As we drove into town, he told me how excited he was to be seeing her. I told him "Connor, Dr. Kelland is away so you'll be seeing a different Doctor today." Connor asked "What's her name?" I said "It's not a 'she'; you'll be seeing a boy Doctor today." I could hear him giggling in his car seat behind me when he said "Oh, Mommy! Boys can't be Doctors!!"

When I told Dr. Kelland the story, she threw her hands up in the air and said "I can retire! My work is done!!"

Recently I was at a luncheon titled 'Women in Leadership'. One of the speakers was our (as of last night) newly elected MLA, Katrine Conroy. She spoke of her career journey and the stereotypes she's had to overcome as a woman who has worked in non-traditional employment settings. She's a pipefitter, for cryin' out loud. When she started working in that field, the plant she worked at didn't have a women's washroom.

At the luncheon, I told the group of women the story about Connor and the Doctor's visit. I told Katrine how I appreciated the path she's chosen and what a difference just her presence made for young people and their perception of what it means to be a politician..... and a woman.

When I was growing up, I was asked "Do you want to be a teacher or a nurse?" Those days are long gone and there is something wonderful about the fact that young women now have no idea just how recently women had such limitations put on them.

You've come a long way, baby..... :-))

Seeso

This post is about my beautiful, sweet, intelligent, funny sister. It's entirely possible that she is my favourite person on the planet. Most of you know her as 'Karen' but to me, she is 'Seeso'.

Karen is 2 years younger than I am and I simply cannot imagine what my life would be like without her. In this picture, she is 2 and I'm 4 and we've just woken up from a nap. I still remember our Mom taking this picture and I also remember how warm and tiny and yummy she felt beside me under the blankets.

Growing up, Glen and Darryl were 'the boys' and Karen and I were 'the girls'. Karen was always my little shadow and my built in best friend. We slept together for many years in a double bed. My thrifty Mom had sewn two single fitted sheets into a double fitted sheet and there was a seam down the center of the bed because of it. If Karen slid so much as a toe across that line, I was yelling for Mom, tattling that Karen was on MY side of the bed. When my parents renovated and I finally had my own room, I spent more than one night stuffing dolls and clothing in my bed so it would appear that I was sleeping in it in order to sneak into her room to sleep with her.

Growing up, we had the normal fights that sisters have over clothes being borrowed without permission, chore distribution and make-up (yes, I did steal your fabulous blush brush; it's in my make-up bag as I type this!), but we have always been very, very close. I don't remember when it happened, but there was a very clear moment when she went from being my 'little sister' to being my 'seeso'. I'm still very, very protective of her but only because I love her, not because she is younger than me or requires my protection.

Karen is a person who is liked by everyone. She's always smiling and is so kind.... but the formidible Pelchat-woman spirit is firmly planted in her soul too. Karen has always amazed me with her ability to have very clear boundaries and an ability to say 'no' unequivocally when she needs to. I have learned so much about that from her.

Although we were close growing up, I was always surprised at how different we were. I saw the two of us a polar opposites and was always a bit sad that we weren't more alike, however as we grow older, the similarities are becoming more obvious... shockingly so actually. We laugh alike. We have similar mannerisms. We use the same phrases. We both have crazy green eyes. We think alike in so many ways and it's such a wonderful feeling to have someone in the world who sees things in a similar way. She makes me feel like less of a freak somehow.

When I moved to Nakusp, I knew I had to lure her here. I helped her to find a job and once she found a man, I knew she was mine for good! She lived here for 15 years then found a job in Nelson. At first I didn't believe her and once I realized that she was serious, I ignored her. I wouldn't talk to her. I wasn't mean.... I just needed to detach and build a little wall around my heart so that it wouldn't hurt quite as much when she left. She assured me that we would see MORE of each other once she moved, something that I thought was completely ridiculous. Our offices were across the street from each other for God's sake! But.... she was right. We see far more of one another now that she lives 2 hours away from me and our visits are much more intimate. We are closer than we've ever been.

Karen understands me. I can tell her anything.... anything and I know without hesitation that she won't judge me, no matter what I say. She loves me unconditionally and is always there me, as I am for her.

I love her ferociously and I'm grateful every single day of my life for the gift of my Seeso.

(In the above picture, Karen has just finished a sambucca shooter that was lit on fire while inside her mouth. I kid you not. She may look like a sweet little lamb but there is a very kooky girl under all of those curls.)

Karma

Main Entry: kar·ma

Pronunciation: \ˈkär-mə also ˈkər-\
Function: noun
Etymology: Sanskrit karma fate, work
Date: 1827

: the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence

My sister is a beautiful, amazing, intelligent woman, but she is also very lucky. No, not just lucky.... horseshoes-up-her-ass-cushioned-with-a-bouquet-of-four-leaf-clovers kind of lucky. I went to Nelson on the weekend to visit her and to take a friend out for a birthday dinner. We had a really nice time having dinner, shooting pool and dancing. Throughout the night, Karen misplaced her cell phone a couple of times... her work cell phone. However, she always managed to find it up until the end of the night. Nope. It was nowhere.

The next day we went to town shopping and checked everywhere for it. We retraced our steps but it was nowhere to be found. Karen was a bit worried, but she said "It will turn up. That's why I don't have to worry about my stuff... it just always works out."

I received an email from Karen today. Here's what it said, in a nutshell:

"Guess what happened with my cell phone?! I went to work and confessed that I'd lost it and my boss told me that she ordered a new cell phone for me last week and that it had arrived. She said not to worry about it at all. Then, two hours later some nice person showed up at the office and returned the one I lost!"

The only explanation I have for Karen's good karma is that she was the equivalent of Mother Teresa in her past life. (Ok, and is a total sweetheart in this one.)

Yeah.

Wanna know what happened to me this week? I was walking and blew my knee out. Not power walking, not diving in front of a train to save a small child... no. Just walking into Tana's office to say 'hi'. I didn't twist my knee. I didn't fall. I just took a step. A normal fucking step.

Explanation? I was the equivalent of George Bush in a past life. How do I know this? Because I think I'm a pretty decent gal in this one. (There are people who would disagree.)

Holy Cats. Honestly. Karma.